In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days, the number of children who are becoming obese has been increasing rapidly. There are schools of thought that the authorities should be solely responsible for

this

Linking Words

alarming issue.

However

Linking Words

, I partly agree with the opinion. It is apparent that governments had better shoulder responsibility for the overweight issue among children. If there are any serious threats to people,

obesity

Use synonyms

as an example, the government should be the one who

realize

Suggestion

realizes

the problems and put the optimal solutions into practice.

For instance

Linking Words

government

Suggestion

the government

can put restrictions on the advertisements of fast food on the television or

Suggestion

the internet to prevent children from pestering their parents to make

impulsive purchase

Suggestion

impulsive purchases

an impulsive purchase

Suggestion

unhealthy items.

However

Linking Words

, I am of the opinion that the duty to combat

obesity

Use synonyms

is not merely of the government because

parents

Suggestion

the parents

also

Linking Words

exert a significant influence on their

off-springs

the immediate descendants of a person

offspring

To begin

Linking Words

with, parents can encourage their children to maintain a balanced diet and get away from low

calories

Suggestion

calorie

products which are one of the main factors resulting in weight gain among children.

Additionally

Linking Words

, more physical activities should get involved in children’s daily routine to avoid sedentary lifestyle, which is believed to be one of the primary causes leading to

obesity

Use synonyms

. Taking regular exercise will make a great contribution to building a fit and strong body,

thus

Linking Words

restraining children from being overweight. In conclusion, childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

is an issue that needs to be tackled immediately. It is essential for both the authorities and parents to take

actions

Suggestion

action

so that the problem can be solved quickly and effectively.

Submitted by Phương Thảo Đặng on Tue Jun 02 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: give details about the concert describe how you won the tickets explain why you’ve chosen your friend to go with you.
With thoughts of you in mind, I pen this letter, wishing for your well-being. we both have a common interest in music and admire going to live music concerts. I've a exciting news for you, I won two pass for the Charlie Puth's live concert gonna be held in the downtown on 26th March evening.
5
band
Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's era, Everyone needs to socialise to make the life complete and blissful. To follow this above-mentioned idea, people are searching for different different sources. Such as some get indulge in sports and try some another curricular activities. Moreover, some masses believe that it is better to invest a little quality of time with co-workers whereas others want to uphold professional relationship at workplace. Let's discuss both the pros and cons of the aforementioned statement.
6.5
band
“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
There is no doubt that we live in a world where social networks are being developed more than ever. Modern forms of communication such as email and texting are increasingly popular, reducing the amount of time people spend meeting friends. This has had a negative impact on their social life. I, myself, partly agree with this idea, which will be discussed below.
4
band
Problems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems. Suggest possible solutions and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Over the past century, human desire to live a comfortable life has led to technology development, subsequently causing environmental problems. At the moment, almost every part of the world is heavily contaminated thus putting enormous effort into trying to deal with these problems. This paper will attempt to examine the problems that threaten the world and identify the possible ways of dealing with them.
7.5
band
Some people buy new models of phones, computers and other technology immidately while others prefer to buy after a while they launch. disuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals tend to purchase cutting-edge goods such as mobile and computers briskly when they are released for customers in the market, whereas others prefer to buy them after a while. In my opinion, buying modern goods quickly is not an effective option and people should be patient. Both perspectives require careful evaluation which will be discussed here.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: give details about the concert describe how you won the tickets explain why you’ve chosen your friend to go with you.

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Problems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems. Suggest possible solutions and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people buy new models of phones, computers and other technology immidately while others prefer to buy after a while they launch. disuss both views and give your opinion.