In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

These days, the number of children who are becoming obese has been increasing rapidly. There are schools of thought that the authorities should be solely responsible for

this

alarming issue.

However

, I partly agree with the opinion. It is apparent that governments had better shoulder responsibility for the overweight issue among children. If there are any serious threats to people,

obesity

as an example, the government should be the one who

realize

Suggestion

realizes

the problems and put the optimal solutions into practice.

For instance

government

Suggestion

the government

can put restrictions on the advertisements of fast food on the television or

Suggestion

the internet to prevent children from pestering their parents to make

impulsive purchase

Suggestion

impulsive purchases

an impulsive purchase

Suggestion

unhealthy items.

However

, I am of the opinion that the duty to combat

obesity

is not merely of the government because

parents

Suggestion

the parents

also

exert a significant influence on their

off-springs

the immediate descendants of a person

offspring

To begin

with, parents can encourage their children to maintain a balanced diet and get away from low

calories

Suggestion

calorie

products which are one of the main factors resulting in weight gain among children.

Additionally

, more physical activities should get involved in children’s daily routine to avoid sedentary lifestyle, which is believed to be one of the primary causes leading to

obesity

. Taking regular exercise will make a great contribution to building a fit and strong body,

thus

restraining children from being overweight. In conclusion, childhood

obesity

is an issue that needs to be tackled immediately. It is essential for both the authorities and parents to take

actions

Suggestion

action

so that the problem can be solved quickly and effectively.

Submitted by Phương Thảo Đặng on Tue Jun 02 2020

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people agree that free public transportation should be available in most major cities. Will the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places.