Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

These
day
Suggestion
days
more and more persons are spending a lot of time away from own
home
. The
reasonthey
Suggestion
reason they
predominate working
Accept comma addition
predominate, working
rather than own
home
Accept comma addition
home, moreover
moreover
some workers tend to work.
Kn
Suggestion
In
this
essay I will explain
pros
Suggestion
the pros
and
cons sides
Accept comma addition
cons, sides
of working away from
home
.
Ghe
Suggestion
The
first
crucial advantage of working away from
home
is promotion own business. To commence with
mang
a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number
many
people can achieve a lot of opportunities through hardworking away from
home
Accept comma addition
home, although
although
, a huge focus on for own significant work
un
Suggestion
in
on
the workplace
therefore
, several individuals prefer to work away from
home
.
Secondly
benefit aspect of working away from
home
is comfortability
for
example some
Accept comma addition
example, some
workers con not
uncomfortable situation
Suggestion
an uncomfortable situation
in addition
the external environment interfere
that is
why people will
beforced
Suggestion
be forced
to working away from
home
cause do not disturb nobody as well as there is a good condition for introvert people in order to
working
Suggestion
work
notwithstanding do not carry on
some
one or some or every or all without specification
any
paper in the commute.
However
, there is a drawback
aspect
Accept comma addition
aspect, for
for
instance sometimes
Accept comma addition
instance, sometimes
workers could not spend time with relationship and family members
shch
to so extreme a degree
such
as,
theie
of them or themselves
their
the
lifespan
do not maintain
Suggestion
does not maintain
in addition
, they
are not pay
Suggestion
are not paying
are not paid
don't pay
do not pay
have not paid
attantionchildren
dicipline
a branch of knowledge
discipline
disciplines
disciplined
due to
they
of them or themselves
their
works under no circumstances. To sum up people
are spending
Suggestion
is spending
more time away from
home
because they want to gain success and eager beaver for
earn
Suggestion
earning
money.
Submitted by Uralbek Begmatov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career progression
  • earning potential
  • enhanced productivity
  • skill sets
  • work-life balance
  • personal well-being
  • negatively impacting
  • increased stress
  • health issues
  • burnout
  • cardiovascular diseases
What to do next:
Look at other essays: