Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #time #homes #workplace

These

day

Suggestion

days

more and more persons are spending a lot of time away from own

home

. The

reasonthey

Suggestion

reason they

predominate working

Accept comma addition

predominate, working

rather than own

home

Accept comma addition

home, moreover

moreover

some workers tend to work.

Suggestion

this

essay I will explain

pros

Suggestion

the pros

and

cons sides

Accept comma addition

cons, sides

of working away from

home

Ghe

Suggestion

The

first

crucial advantage of working away from

home

is promotion own business. To commence with

mang

a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number

many

people can achieve a lot of opportunities through hardworking away from

home

Accept comma addition

home, although

although

, a huge focus on for own significant work

Suggestion

the workplace

therefore

, several individuals prefer to work away from

home

Secondly

benefit aspect of working away from

home

is comfortability

for

example some

Accept comma addition

example, some

workers con not

uncomfortable situation

Suggestion

an uncomfortable situation

in addition

the external environment interfere

that is

why people will

beforced

Suggestion

be forced

to working away from

home

cause do not disturb nobody as well as there is a good condition for introvert people in order to

working

Suggestion

work

notwithstanding do not carry on

some

one or some or every or all without specification

any

paper in the commute.

However

, there is a drawback

aspect

Accept comma addition

aspect, for

for

instance sometimes

Accept comma addition

instance, sometimes

workers could not spend time with relationship and family members

shch

to so extreme a degree

such

as,

theie

of them or themselves

their

the

lifespan

do not maintain

Suggestion

does not maintain

in addition

, they

are not pay

Suggestion

are not paying

are not paid

don't pay

do not pay

have not paid

attantionchildren

dicipline

a branch of knowledge

discipline

disciplines

disciplined

due to

they

of them or themselves

their

works under no circumstances. To sum up people

are spending

Suggestion

is spending

more time away from

home

because they want to gain success and eager beaver for

earn

Suggestion

earning

money.

Submitted by Uralbek Begmatov on Thu Jun 04 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

224 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

career progression
earning potential
enhanced productivity
skill sets
work-life balance
personal well-being
negatively impacting
increased stress
health issues
burnout
cardiovascular diseases

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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

parents should spend more time with their children by helping them doing their assignment. agree or disagree?

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone should follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact on our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

The amount of sport shown on television every week has increased significantly and this is having an impact on live sports events. Do you think the benefits of having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages?

More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)