IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behaviour and academic achievement.

#feel #school #uniforms #schools #students #&quot #level #field&quot #disparities #children #focus #studies #clothes #students& #right #individuality #effect #behaviour #achievement
School
uniforms
 differ from
school
 dress codes, which set rules about what cannot be worn but do not need a specific set of attire. Some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that codes and
school
uniforms
 are the codes and
school
uniforms
 are
such
 restrictions limit
students
’ freedom of expression.
While
 on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of people believe that the
School
 Uniform Policy serves as an improvement in a student’s life, but it restricts
students
’ freedom of expression and could be costly. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views.
Firstly
,
school
uniforms
 make schools safer for
students
, create a “level playing field” that reduces socioeconomic disparities, and encourage children to focus on their studies and not their clothes.
Students
 focus more on their studies and what is occurring in class than being less concerned about the clothing the
students
 are wearing.
School
uniforms
 have helped decrease violence and theft. It has helped prevent
students
 from concealing weapons under baggy clothing, making it easier to keep track of
students
 on field trips and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 intruders on campus more visible.
Uniforms
 promote positive behaviour and have allowed
students
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 part of the
school
 spirit and to be proud of their
school
 pride.
On the other hand
,
students
’ right to express their individuality,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 no positive effect on behaviour and academic achievement, and
emphasize
Correct subject-verb agreement
emphasizes
show examples
 the socioeconomic disparities they intended to disguise.
Students
 love to experiment with their clothing and accessories and to have to wear
uniforms
 now limits
students
 to express themselves; it is restricting individuality. Sometimes clothes can show your opinion emotions and expression. Many opponents believe that
school
uniforms
 do not stop bullying and may increase violent attacks.
Uniforms
 make bullies better
to
Correct word choice
able to
show examples
 target
students
 from the public, especially from other schools. In my opinion,
although
 there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
great point for either
sides
Change noun form
side's
show examples
 opinion, I like the idea of
uniforms
. It is more cost-effective, helps prevent
students
feeling
Change preposition
from feeling
show examples
 different based on how they dress, and ultimately creates convenience for the student and parents. If it were up to me, I would love to see more schools choose
uniforms
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular clothing.
Submitted by Manjot kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: