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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that subjects such as art, music, drama and creative writing have a bright future. Therefore, schools should spend more time teaching these subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #subjects #art #music #drama #future #schools #time
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The technological advancements are applied in various areas which affect our lives. The
agriculture
Use synonyms
 is one of those areas. One of the purposes of using these advancements is to increase the a number of products.
However
Linking Words
, the supply of
agricultureal
relating to or used in or promoting agriculture or farming
agricultural
 goods is not enough for people around the
world
Use synonyms
. The population
increasing
Suggestion
is increasing
increases
 around the
world
Use synonyms
 leads to more consumption,
however
Linking Words
, there is a limited number of
Use synonyms
agriculture
Suggestion
agricultural
 products. The reputation of being a farmer is not good as they earn a little amount of money, so that more people tend to work outside the
agriculture
Use synonyms
 area.
For example
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, farmers' children give up on their parents’ occupation and move to the town to be a white-collar worker. Nowadays, the proportion of
agriculture
Use synonyms
 jobs is small compared to other jobs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, despite of the advances in
agriculture
Use synonyms
, the products are still not enough for the whole
world
Use synonyms
. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, it needs for every part of
countries
Suggestion
the country
country
 the prioritising the
agriculture
Use synonyms
 area. The government is required to impose the law in terms of helping farmers. To illustrate, farmers' problems always
occure
come to pass
occur
 when trading with middlemen which is the price of their products sometimes is too low. The government can help by establishing the special
institution to
Accept comma addition
institution, to
 eliminate these middlemen so that the farmer can have benefits directly, which it can be a motivation for people to start their agricultural business. In my opinion, the limited numbers of agricultural products and the population increasing in the
world
Use synonyms
 are the reason why people are still hungry.
This
Linking Words
 problem can be solved by attracting people to work more in the an agricultural job
such
Linking Words
 as eliminating middlemen. More people
invloved involved
connected by participation or association or use
involved
involved involved
 in
this
Linking Words
 area, more goods will be produced.
Submitted by Jenny on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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