Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

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It is argued that

celebrities

Accept comma addition

celebrities, for

for example

Linking Words

movie actors, musicians or even

atheletes

a person trained to compete in sports

athletes

earn

overwhelming amount

Suggestion

the overwhelming amount

an overwhelming amount

compared to other professions. I completely agree that their income is extreme compared to their impact, and that professions like nursing, pharmacy should equally earn higher.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

firstly

Linking Words

, the fact that it is extravagant, and

secondly

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, the outcome of

such

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investment. Spending hugely on entertainment only proposes a case of misplaced priority, while nurses and pharmacists who directly impact the health of the nation do not make half of what the so called stars take home. Thess health professionals are ever ready and willing to sacrifice their time and happiness for the

welbeing

a contented state of being happy and healthy and prosperous

wellbeing

weeping

of the people. The recent

coronavirus

Suggestion

pandemic is a prime example, where the whole world depended on the health system, which they spend poorly on for safety and

protection whereas

Accept comma addition

protection, whereas

the entertainers were all locked down in their homes, waiting for the pandemic to be resolved.

Secondly

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, looking into the lives of our celebrities, it can be agreed that

majority

Suggestion

the majority

a majority

of them

as a result

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of the high inflow of money they

recieve

get something; come into possession of

receive

are associated with crimes

such

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as money laundering, drugs etc.

This

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is due to the fact that they do not have any reasonable means of giving back to the society in terms of work, so they focus on themselves and find different ways of being happy and trendy.

For example

Linking Words

, the recent survey conducted by that National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control in Nigeria uncovered that 75% of drug abusers are celebrities. In conclusion, the

networth

Suggestion

net worth

of the celebrities is

extravagent

unrestrained, especially with regard to feelings

extravagant

and have yielded little or no positive outcome.

Submitted by Chinenye Joy Leleh on Mon Jun 08 2020

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the user should pay for the cost. Discuss both views and give your opinio

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?