IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In most successful organisations, some preople believe that communication between managers and workers is important, while other people said that other factors are more significant. What is your opinion?

#organisations #preople #communication #managers #workers #people #factors
The success of a good company or organisation is always under discussion of workers. It is true that many people argue that it heavily depends on the communication between high position employers and employees while others view believe to be other factors which are significant. In
this
 essay, I will examine and analyse the question before reaching any reasonable conclusion. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the interaction between managers and workers build up effective and professional working environment. A breakdown in communication may put an end to the
conduction
Suggestion
conduct
 of a business.
In addition
, whether employees develop their skills and knowledge or not, it partly relies on managers' attitude toward their staff, there must be cooperation between
two positions
Suggestion
the two positions
 to please their clients.
For example
, in
term
Suggestion
terms
 of running a big hospital, the CEO must see a
big
Suggestion
bigger
 picture,
then
 talk constantly to doctors, nurses, staff to create a sufficient place where everyone can complete their tasks and to ensure the best quality of taking care patients.
On the other hand
, there are some reasons supporting the idea whether there need to be other factors or not. It is well known that job satisfaction is a major reason leading to the breakthrough of an association. Nowhere can work properly with their discontent staff. What's more, when workers enjoy their appropriate income with their work, holiday entitlement, retirement package and friendly, happy workplace
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 the company enormously benefit from the loyalty of their employers.
Furthermore
, support between everyone may result in a smooth working process. To draw a conclusion, it appeals to some people that effective and strict management in organisation leads to great achievement.
However
, in my point of view, the major factor in group is that managers are able to form a happy working environment with their pleased employees.
Submitted by Khánh Uyên on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: