IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is a general argument, whether parents should motivate their young ones to do
part
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time
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job
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 in their leisure
time
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 or not.
This
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 particular situation has many positives
such
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 as children get an idea of hardship of real world and many more.
On the other hand
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, there are many negatives as well. There are various advantages of doing
part
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time
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job
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 for children as it is encouraged by their parents.
Firstly
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, as children have to do
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job
Suggestion
the job
a job
jobs
 at any particular place, they learn to take responsibility which is very much required in later
life
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.
Secondly
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, they deal with different unimaginable situations which gives an idea of
life
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 and its hardship associated with it, which are of much use when they deal with bigger problems in later stages of
life
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.
Last
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 but not the least, they understand the value of money and how difficult it is to earn, which helps them to limit haphazard spending of their parents money. These are
certain
Suggestion
certainly
 reason for a
child
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 to do
part
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time
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job
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On the other hand
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, there are disadvantages connected with doing
part
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time
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job
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 as well. To start with, there are high chances that, children will find very difficult to manage studies as well as work as emotions and pressure of responsibilities will affect children's behaviour. On top of it, it will
also
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 affect
child
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's performance in schooling and
this
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 is negative, impact as the
child
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's main goal is to get
education
Suggestion
educated
.
Lastly
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, they tend to get attracted towards earning money at a very young age and they will not give much attention towards education which eventually lead to mediocre
job
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 for whole
life
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. These are the reason why one will not agree with the
child
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 doing
part
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time
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job
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. To conclude,
gardian
a plot of ground where plants are cultivated
garden
 inspiring young ones to do jobs in their free
time
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 can lead to diversion from education, but if that can be managed
then
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 it will lead to a responsible and mature person in future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • punctuality
  • work ethic
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • time management
  • work experience
  • career prospects
  • independence
  • self-esteem
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • academic responsibilities
  • school performance
  • hobbies
  • relaxation
  • well-being
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • premature adulthood
  • childhood experiences
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