IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, most large companies operate multinationally. To what extent those companies should have responsibility towards local communities in which they operate?

In recent years, there has been a trend of offshore expansion of multinational corporations.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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this
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 will create many
employments
Check wording
jobs
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 for the local citizens, their responsibilities towards
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 must be
the
Change preposition
at the
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 highest level. It is true that the responsible corporate behaviours contribute to broad-based benefits towards the countries in which they are active.
Firstly
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, since these corporations have had the responsibility towards the habitat, which
lead
Wrong verb form
has led
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 to beliefs of the local people
with
Change preposition
in
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 these brands.
For instance
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, if a company have steps to
disposal
Replace the word
dispose
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Change preposition
of wastes
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Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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wastes
Punctuation problem
wastes,
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then
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 the citizens enjoy their new products without concerns
with
Change preposition
about
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
Secondly
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, the multinational
companies
Use synonyms
 should be more active in charitable activities that
are
Verb problem
provide
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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opportunities for them to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lives
oversea
Use the right word
overseas
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. In fact, many nations all around the world do not have the resources to deal with the problems,
such
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 as poverty or hunger, so they need a lot of
helps
Fix the agreement mistake
help
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of
Change preposition
from
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, the foreign
companies
Use synonyms
 can substantially benefit from being socially responsible. By actively protecting the habitat that ensures their sustainable long-term growth, especially
manufacturing
Change preposition
in manufacturing
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 and mining factories.
For example
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, the
coca-cola
Fix capitalization
Coca-Cola
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 company had many campaigns
of improving
Change preposition
to improve
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climate
Correct article usage
the climate
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,
therefore
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 they
are
Verb problem
apply
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received
such
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supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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 from the locals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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.
Furthermore
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, the multinational corporations should be very conscious of their track records when it comes to local responsibility, as these are directly tied to brand names.
As a result
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, if the brand name is
remained
Use the right word
retained
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 and
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhanced
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, which is
conditioned
Verb problem
apply
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conductive
Use the right word
conducive
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 to increasing the profit and sales. In conclusion, the corporate responsibilities towards local communities should always be high.
This
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 benefits not only the countries in which
companies
Use synonyms
 operate, but the
companies
Use synonyms
 themselves.

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structure
Plan your essay. Have a short start that says what you think, then two or three ideas in the body, and a short end.
coherence
Begin each paragraph with a clear idea sentence.
cohesion
Use easy links like also, but, so, because to join your ideas.
examples
Give one or two strong and clear examples, and explain how they show your idea.
grammar
Use simple words and fix grammar. Check mistakes with s, is, was, were.
content
The view that big firms should care for local life is clear.
content
The essay uses one real example to back a point.
content
There are some good ideas about how firms can help.
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