IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is argued that good salary of employee plays a pivotal role than satisfied with the job.
This
 essay totally agrees with that statement that employee’s pleasure has more importance in comparison to have a bigger income because it helps in maintaining better relationships with friends and relatives as they have proper time to spend with them
also
 people performs exceptionally well when they are totally aligned and satisfied. Getting a substantial amount of pay requires more personal time to complete tasks which indirectly deteriorates relations with their kin.
This
 is because earnings are directly proportional to the amount of work done by any employee.
As a result
, these bring loneliness and make people tired which have a huge impact on their health both physically and mentally.
For example
, according to WHO, in many organizations, in USA, individuals who are working for good remunerations are more likely to have problems
such
 as hypertension, heart attacks, high blood pressure and are mentally sick in comparison to the people who are more focused towards assignment’s joy. Another reason why fulfilment in a profession has more importance than to have higher pay is the fact that more fruitful results can be obtained.
This
 is because pleasure in the post allows people do their tasks more effectively, which not helps both employer and employee to thrive.
For instance
, in a survey conducted by “The Times” magazine in the year 2018 revealed that people who enjoy their position have better performance and more possibilities to grow. In conclusion, task peace of mind weighs
moreover
 better income because it helps in reducing numerous predicaments which people face
such
 as the heavy workload due to the greed of high pay.
Additionally
, professional growth
also
 depends on how satisfied a person is in the business.
Submitted by Nidhi Walia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: