Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

In the present scenario, education is the necessity of time. Undoubtedly, an abundant number of students are graduating from colleges every year. Some people think that there should be less focus on higher

studies whereas

Accept comma addition

studies, whereas

others believe that

this

emphasis is essential for the welfare of society. It seems to me that

university

studies have a vital role to play in the future. I will elucidate my view point and discuss the opposite view in the following paragraphs. To start with, many individuals think that more than enough graduates contribute to unemployment, which

further

leads to drug addiction and psychological woes

etcetera

For instance

- if a well educated person would not get a suitable job,

then

he will be depressed and might be

indulge

Suggestion

indulged

indulging

in bad company to overcome his unpleasant emotions.

to it, the individuals might believe that if younger people spend many years of their lives in studies,

then

they will get married after 30

year

Suggestion

years

of their age. As a consequence, getting pregnant can be tricky.

Suggestion

the flip side,

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

part of society says that a plenty of emphasis on

university

education will bring

plethoric

favourable changes to the world. As per view, it is difficult to survive in

such

a competitive era without higher qualification. As

university

studies produce

sense

Suggestion

a sense

of responsibility and give experience and wisdom to graduates to distinguish good from bad.

For example

- with

university

, students explore more about the surroundings and make wise decisions after weighing bright and dark side of the situation.

Moreover

this

emphasis attracts many employment opportunities which assist the persons to raise the standard of their lives. In

nutshell

Suggestion

a nutshell

, I would like to say, though the more focus on college studies has some inimical

effects but

Accept comma addition

effects, but

these effects can be outweighed by its positives. I think,

high

Suggestion

highly

qualified individuals have more calibre to make the world better.

Submitted by ales on Sat Jun 13 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Nowadays teenagers are suffering from a lot of pressure. Write an essay of about 250 words to list the cause of teen pressure and give solutions.

Some people say that the main environmental problem our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

More and more people are using the internet to contact existing friends and even make new friends. Some people are of the opinion that this has strengthened relationships between existing friends, whilst others think the opposite is true. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.