Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

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In the present scenario, education is the necessity of time. Undoubtedly, an abundant number of students are graduating from colleges every year. Some people think that there should be less focus on higher

studies whereas

Accept comma addition

studies, whereas

others believe that

this

Linking Words

emphasis is essential for the welfare of society. It seems to me that

university

Use synonyms

studies have a vital role to play in the future. I will elucidate my view point and discuss the opposite view in the following paragraphs. To start with, many individuals think that more than enough graduates contribute to unemployment, which

further

Linking Words

leads to drug addiction and psychological woes

etcetera

Suggestion

For instance

Linking Words

- if a well educated person would not get a suitable job,

then

Linking Words

he will be depressed and might be

indulge

Suggestion

indulged

indulging

in bad company to overcome his unpleasant emotions.

Linking Words

to it, the individuals might believe that if younger people spend many years of their lives in studies,

then

Linking Words

they will get married after 30

year

Suggestion

years

of their age. As a consequence, getting pregnant can be tricky.

Suggestion

the flip side,

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

part of society says that a plenty of emphasis on

university

Use synonyms

education will bring

plethoric

Suggestion

favourable changes to the world. As per view, it is difficult to survive in

such

Linking Words

a competitive era without higher qualification. As

university

Use synonyms

studies produce

sense

Suggestion

a sense

of responsibility and give experience and wisdom to graduates to distinguish good from bad.

For example

Linking Words

- with

university

Use synonyms

, students explore more about the surroundings and make wise decisions after weighing bright and dark side of the situation.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

emphasis attracts many employment opportunities which assist the persons to raise the standard of their lives. In

nutshell

Suggestion

a nutshell

, I would like to say, though the more focus on college studies has some inimical

effects but

Accept comma addition

effects, but

these effects can be outweighed by its positives. I think,

high

Suggestion

highly

qualified individuals have more calibre to make the world better.

Submitted by ales on Sat Jun 13 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Art classes such as painting or drawing are important for children’s development, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Music and other arts seem to be features of every society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Shopping is becoming more and more popular leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?