IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
In
this
 modern era, world is changing a
lotand
Suggestion
lot and
education
 is
very essential thing
Suggestion
a very essential thing
 in today's competition. Some people
thing
an instance of deliberate thinking
think
 that to get a bright future, higher
education
 is necessary. But
on the other hand
 people
also
 have another mentality. I personally believe that university
education
 is very important for
successful career
Suggestion
a successful career
successful careers
. In the following paragraphs, I have some strong arguments to support my view.
Stuyding
Suggestion
Studying
 at university gives you more
oppertunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
opportunity
 to achieve success in your life. Because
education
 gives you the knowledge about the current situation of the earth and if you are
proper
Suggestion
properly
 educated
then
 no one can
manuplate
influence or control shrewdly or deviously
manipulate
 you. On the basis of college degree you can easily get
job
Suggestion
a job
the job
 in any company as compare to others, who don't have any degree. Higher
stuyding
 in institute makes you more confident and brings out your hidden talent. It makes you capable to take your
disition
the act of making up your mind about something
decision
 properly.
High level study
Suggestion
Higher level studies
Higher level study
aslo
in addition
also
 affect on illiteracy ratio. In 2013, one government report shows
taht
pointing out something
that
, 78 percentage people are
sucessful
having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome
successful
 in their life, they
were pass
Suggestion
were passing
were passed
have passed
 out from the university. Some uneducated people
always says
Suggestion
always say
are always saying
 that, higher study is west of money. They
also
advice
give advice to
advise
 that, everyone must have to start
job
Suggestion
a job
 after finishing the school. They
are
Suggestion
also believe
also
 believing in hard work rather than the smart work. To conclude, In my opinion involving in college for the study is
clear way
Suggestion
a clear way
 for the
excelent
very good;of the highest quality
excellent
 future. It is beneficial for
thr
definite article
the
their
 society as well as for the country.
Submitted by rushipatel1953 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: