Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people believe that

Use synonyms

soul

Suggestion

the soul

souls

craft

Use synonyms

, and play are essential as much as other

institute

Use synonyms

courses for

junior high

Suggestion

the junior high institute

a junior high institute

institute

Use synonyms

in particular

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

essay agrees that melody,

craft

Use synonyms

, and play are crucial for students in primary

institute

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss how play helps students become more assertive and

secondly

Linking Words

, discuss how studying

Use synonyms

soul

Suggestion

the soul

enhance memory as well as how

profession

Use synonyms

increase in critical thinking skills. Learning

play especially

Accept comma addition

play, especially

at the primary level has proven to make students more confident when they grow up.

theater

Suggestion

Theatre

Theater

class will allow students to act with other friends by performing in their roles. The study conducted in England showed that most students who join the acting club had more confidence than others who were not. For these reasons, the play is quite important for students in elementary

institute

Use synonyms

. Playing

rap

Use synonyms

and painting

also

Linking Words

benefit children in improving memory and an increase in critical thinking skills.

Firstly

Linking Words

soul

Use synonyms

helps people recall memories quicker and more accurately. Especially for children, researchers showed that people who play

soul

Use synonyms

since they were young are more likely to have a greater ability to remember.

Secondly

Linking Words

craft

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as visual

profession

Use synonyms

has positive effects on people and children. Critical thinking ability is one of the benefits of

Use synonyms

craft

Suggestion

crafting

. A study revealed that children who visited

Suggestion

craft

Use synonyms

museum experienced a 12-15% increase in critical thinking skills.

Although

Linking Words

academic

institute

Use synonyms

subjects,

such

Linking Words

as math, science, and English are essential for students to apply to university,

rap

Use synonyms

, and

craft

Use synonyms

should not be negligent. It is for these reasons, schools should attach importance to

rap

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

profession

Suggestion

the profession

as same as other

institute

Use synonyms

courses. To sum up,

rap

Use synonyms

profession

Use synonyms

, and

theater

a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented

theatre

Theater

have lots of benefits for children

in particular

Linking Words

, and it should devote attention as much as other

institute

Use synonyms

subjects.

Submitted by Pete 250 on Tue Jun 16 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Write an essay on the following topic. Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should write at least 250 words.
It is often believed that each person’s characteristics are influenced by many genetic factors as well as numerous other factors. Some people are of the view that the character traits of people are solely dependent on our genes and these cannot be changed. I wholly disagree with the notion that genes predetermine people’s personalities as the lifestyle and the nature of upbringing play a pivotal role in shaping their behaviours.
<4
band
Some people think women should be allowed to koin the army, the Navy and the Air force just like man
Being a part of the military forces is considered to be the highest honour for any individual. Some groups of community tend to think, that males and females are suitable to serve in the military, the Navy and the Air Force. Personally, I think that women bring more benefits to being out of the army. The arguments are illustrated in the following paragraphs.
8
band
Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（社会）
As technology develops, life expectancy has been significantly extended. Although some people harbour a belief that getting old is a negative thing, others hold the reverse viewpoint that it is much easier to live in modern society than in the past. From my perspective,I am inclined to stand with the opinion that ageing is not a positive process since it will be struggling for both society and individuals.
7.5
band
Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?
The high cost of modern pharmaceuticals means people in poorer countries are unable to benefit from them. I would argue that drug companies have a moral obligation to make their products available to these people and that there are other agencies that can help.
7
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important as other subjects to a child’s development, and they should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is widely believed that art classes, such as drawing are as essential as other subjects for the development of a child, and people are convinced that these subjects should be made compulsory in schools. This essay will first explore the importance of these classes for character formation and then discuss why making it mandatory is also crucial. After considering both viewpoints, I will present my own opinion on this statement.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think women should be allowed to koin the army, the Navy and the Air force just like man

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（社会）

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important as other subjects to a child’s development, and they should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree