Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

Some people believe that
soul
Suggestion
the soul
souls
,
craft
, and play are essential as much as other
institute
courses for
junior high
Suggestion
the junior high institute
a junior high institute
institute
in particular
.
This
essay agrees that melody,
craft
, and play are crucial for students in primary
institute
.
Firstly
,
this
essay will discuss how play helps students become more assertive and
secondly
, discuss how studying
soul
Suggestion
the soul
enhance memory as well as how
profession
increase in critical thinking skills. Learning
play especially
Accept comma addition
play, especially
at the primary level has proven to make students more confident when they grow up.
theater
Suggestion
Theatre
Theater
class will allow students to act with other friends by performing in their roles. The study conducted in England showed that most students who join the acting club had more confidence than others who were not. For these reasons, the play is quite important for students in elementary
institute
. Playing
rap
and painting
also
benefit children in improving memory and an increase in critical thinking skills.
Firstly
,
soul
helps people recall memories quicker and more accurately. Especially for children, researchers showed that people who play
soul
since they were young are more likely to have a greater ability to remember.
Secondly
,
craft
such
as visual
profession
has positive effects on people and children. Critical thinking ability is one of the benefits of
craft
Suggestion
crafting
. A study revealed that children who visited
an
Suggestion
a
craft
museum experienced a 12-15% increase in critical thinking skills.
Although
academic
institute
subjects,
such
as math, science, and English are essential for students to apply to university,
rap
, and
craft
should not be negligent. It is for these reasons, schools should attach importance to
rap
and
profession
Suggestion
the profession
as same as other
institute
courses. To sum up,
rap
,
profession
, and
theater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
Theater
have lots of benefits for children
in particular
, and it should devote attention as much as other
institute
subjects.
Submitted by Pete 250 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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