IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It has been argued that giving gifts to friends and family should not be encouraged, because money is often wasted on things that people do not like or want. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Money is usually not spent wisely when people give gifts to friends and family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 should be discouraged, because people tend
to not
Correct word order
not to
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 like
the
Correct article usage
apply
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it or it may not be what they want!. I
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 partially disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a thoughtful reward will always be cherished by our dear ones. Money will be worth every penny if carefully spent on an appropriate gift to our loved ones.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend had delivered a baby girl
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I was visiting her
I
Punctuation problem
. I
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was for sure puzzled
on
Change preposition
about
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 what to buy. At times, I thought of giving
some
Correct determiner usage
a
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 cash
card
Punctuation problem
card,
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 worried if she
may
Replace the word
might
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 like something else
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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or not.
However
Linking Words
, I bought an inflatable swimming pool for the baby
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 my friend loved it and commented as a thoughtful present!.
Hence
Linking Words
, a reward should be carefully curated
according to
Linking Words
 the occasion and the person's taste.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I had received a present from my friend for my birthday, which I was not satisfied
although
Linking Words
 I would have preferred a better one. It was a basket!. Situations like these
,
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apply
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 but be avoided
and
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, and
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 in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 the present was not of my kind.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I still cherish it for the memories we had. Often, people purchase
souvenir
Fix the agreement mistake
souvenirs
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 just for the sake of it and
not
Verb problem
don't
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 mean it.
This
Linking Words
 should be avoided
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 when in
doubt
Punctuation problem
doubt,
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 a cash card will always work. To recapitulate, in my opinion, I disagree with the statement
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; instead
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instead
Punctuation problem
instead,
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 if a present
to
Verb problem
is to
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 be
buying
Wrong verb form
bought
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it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 must be with
at most
Use the right word
utmost
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 care and
mindful one
Replace the word
mindfulness
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, giving and receiving gifts has an element of surprise and excitement.

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task-fulfilment
State your view clearly at the start and stay with it through the essay.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words and show a clear flow from one idea to the next.
development
Give more exact examples and add more detail rather than short notes.
strength
You give life examples from your own day.
strength
You show why a careful gift can be good for the one who gets it.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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