People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports . Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #sport #activities #scuba #bungee #life #rescue #workers #risk #lives #sports

Sports activities can help

individual

Suggestion

individuals

the individual

an individual

to be healthy

Accept space

however

many people are interested to try hazardous sports with the supervision of lifeguards

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But

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many people opine that sportsman solely ought to be responsible for their life and no need for rescue operators

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dis agree

be of different opinions

disagree

with that notion

Accept space

Firstly

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most of the threatening sports are a part of

entertainment industry

Suggestion

the entertainment industry

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which offers jobs for many people

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Today

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even the government has been

failed

Suggestion

failing

to keep a lid on unemployment these new jobs

bacame

enter or assume a certain state or condition

became

become

a boon for many people

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For example

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a scuba diving rescuer team includes more than two or four workers including ambulance driver

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Therefore they

Accept comma addition

Therefore, they

all get a good career

also

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Secondly

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those

succorer

Suggestion

scores

score

succourer

does

Suggestion

their job may with their passion and people have the freedom to choose their occupation and not providing enough

opportuities

Suggestion

hepatitis'

opportunities

is an offence in terms of law

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Thirdly

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after getting enough training only people are

assignecd

appointed to a post or duty

assigned

such

works

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as a result

the chance to risk their lives might be reduced

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Also

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in non _ risky sports

also

there

Suggestion

are

chances for loss of life or injury

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To illustrate

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who

hasnot

Suggestion

has not

here the death of Philip

hughes

Suggestion

haggis'

Hughes

by an accidental hit by a ball while playing cricket

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So safe games

also

have a chance for serious bad effects

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To conclude

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life

thereatning

threatening or foreshadowing evil or tragic developments

threatening

games

shoudnot

should not

shouldn't

be played by

player

Suggestion

the player

a player

players

alone as rescuer can take care

themseves

reflexive form of "them"

themselves

with good practice

Accept space

practcal

Suggestion

Practical

Practcal

implementation of laid off to these workers may result in joblessness and all sport

activites

any specific behavior

activities

in one or another way is harmful

Accept space

Submitted by meeghaljohn89 on Tue Jun 16 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibility
dangerous sports
scuba diving
bungee jumping
rescue workers
risk
save lives
priority
regulations
guidelines
safety
education
training
participants

What to do next:

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People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports . Do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Many people use distance-learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Gender imbalance in some occupations is evident. To what extent do you think that it is acceptable?