IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #employees #company
Some elderly employees have rich experience and life skills and some of them work on the old method, which not always spectacular. Some young employees are ambitious, hard working and multifaceted and some of them are lazy, mean and silly. It is
controversial issue
Suggestion
a controversial issue
. In every company is
necessary people
Accept comma addition
necessary, people
 in different generations. To develop company workers
in
Suggestion
at
 different ages can
swapping
Suggestion
swap
 ideas and experience. Young workers can learn with
elder
advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)
older
 workers
also
vise
a holding device attached to a workbench; has two jaws to hold workpiece firmly in place
vice
 versa. What young workers do not know may be know older. It is necessary that in one company to work all generations. Young employees more creative and always add
color
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
 to your work. And they chase a career.
In
Suggestion
To
 think that
elder generations
Suggestion
the elder generations
 must give way to young. If they don't know, they will start working on bugs. We must give them
chance
Suggestion
a chance
 and trust with
theirs
objective case of they
them
. They will succeed.
Submitted by klysh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: