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Band 4.5

The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in the world society over the last two decades,

#breakthroughs #science #advances #world #society #two #decades
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In recent decades, technology has developed dramatically and causes to see changes in all aspects of our life. I mean technology leads us to an easier lifestyle.
as
Suggestion
As
 a result, the ways of
communication
 have altered. Some people argue that the advancement of technology, in recent decades is useful for
humane
Suggestion
humans
. I mean nowadays most people have a tight schedule and they find it difficult to visit each other in person,
therefore
 new ways of
communication
 allow them to keep in touch with their family and friends and strengthen their band’s relationship.
In addition
, since the lifestyle of people has changed and they have been led to a sedentary lifestyle, they are willing to
use convenient
Accept comma addition
use, convenient
 ways of
communication
 as well as
this
 provided people with a situation that can connect to the people who live abroad whenever they want.
On the other hand
, some groups of people argue that new ways of
communication
has
Suggestion
have
 some drawbacks. From a psychological point of view, people suffer from a lack of pat,
as a result
, they are more likely to become depressed or feel solitude, another result is that the rate of relationship with animals is increasing. I believe that new friendships and new ways of
communication
 are not real and
can not
can not
cannot
 fill the lack of our
feelings
Suggestion
feeling
 emotions since speaking in person is more power full and can make an impression on people. Due to the reasons I mentioned and from a psychological standpoint, new ways of
communication
causes
Suggestion
cause
 a lot of emotional problems for humans.
Submitted by Arsalan Montazeri on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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