The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some people believed that women in society nowadays has seen differently from the past two decades because of the belief that juvenile delinquency which is
happened
Suggestion
happening
in youngsters recently is
effect
Suggestion
the effect
an effect
of the bad parenting practice caused by working mothers. I consider myself to stand against
this
Linking Words
perspective. Caring for children in the house is not only
Use synonyms
mother’s role
Suggestion
a mother’s role
the mother’s role
but
also
Linking Words
father
Suggestion
the father
a father
. In a family, both of father and
mother
Use synonyms
has
Suggestion
have
their own
role
Accept comma addition
role, such
such
Linking Words
as father earning more money to support
family
Suggestion
the family
a family
financially and
mother
Use synonyms
managing money effectively. But, in order to nurture children is both responsibilities.
Father’s role
Suggestion
A father’s role
The father’s role
is important to discipline the children, strengthen their mentality, and teach them how to act appropriately in the society.
Use synonyms
Mother’s love
Suggestion
A mother’s love
is fundamental to soften children’s soul so that they know how to act as a human being in a proper
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that career women can be
reminded
recall knowledge from memory; have a recollection
remembered
as a trusted and responsible
mother
Use synonyms
in their house.
For instance
Linking Words
, I have a teacher who runs a ton of tutor classes in a language academy. As I know, she had been taught in my school for fifteen years old since she was younger. She
teaches
Suggestion
has taught
every day in our school since 08.00 am to 03.00 pm and continues in
language academy
Suggestion
a language academy
until 07.30 pm and she still can manage her family well. Her
first
Linking Words
daughter is a well behave and a brilliant girl in her school, while her son is active in soccer club. To sum up, in my opinion, women can be career women and still remain as a good
mother
Use synonyms
. Even though juvenile delinquency can be influenced by bad parenting practice, it is not the only reason.
Submitted by Marina Hardiyanti on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • domestic roles
  • diverse professional engagements
  • dual-working parents
  • family dynamics
  • juvenile delinquency
  • societal and economic factors
  • dual-income households
  • childcare methods
  • community support systems
  • gender roles
  • family responsibilities
  • professional aspirations
  • development needs
  • correlation
  • simplistic causation
  • workplace policies
  • flexible hours
  • parental leave
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • successful womanhood
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