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Band 5

Governments investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead?

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Introduction
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
we often have an argument about the question how to use nation budget rationally.Someone thinks governments should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on public services than the arts.I think
,
Accept space
,
I
can not
can not
cannot
 be persuaded by any opinions.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand
,
Accept space
,
social public services are the most important in society.It rates how
this
Linking Words
 country successful.In a
success
Suggestion
successful
 country
,
Accept space
,
the interests of the mass must be
priority
Suggestion
a priority
.
Gorvernments
Suggestion
Governments
 need to show excessive interest in facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Accept space
:
hospitals
,
Accept space
,
schools, social protection
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
,... Students must go to school and receive
good education
Suggestion
a good education
.Patients
wil
the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention
will
 be looked after by well-qualified doctors.They
also
Linking Words
 treat by modern machines.People
not only have
Suggestion
don't only have
an
Suggestion
a
 good experience with traffic-one of the biggest problems in many countries around the world but
also
Linking Words
 protect
by
Suggestion
from
 them. High-quality public services not only reflect
the good
Suggestion
the better
 satisfaction of citizens with their
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
also
Linking Words
 contribute to promote stimulating the national image to the world.The
important
Suggestion
most important
 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on public services are necessary.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
although
Linking Words
 social
servies
performance of duties or provision of space and equipment helpful to others
services
service
servers
 have a lot of benefits for
citizens but
Accept comma addition
citizens, but
 the arts
also
Linking Words
 have some reasons to be taken into consideration.In fact
,
Accept space
,
the world is changing by hour.Requirements for
entertainment
Suggestion
the entertainment
 of people have increased quickly.People like going to museums
,
Accept space
,
theatre,..
to
Suggestion
To
 relax after long working time.Young generations recently like going to museums to enjoy some artworks and taking photos with them
instead
Linking Words
 of being at home with television and telephone.Some of them can become a popular tourist attraction.They bring the happiness
,
Accept space
,
satisfied moment for people. Governments can be received a large of source of revenue
from
Suggestion
for
 them.
Conclusion
In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
everything has advantages and disadvantages.But governments should balance between spending
money
Use synonyms
 on public services and spending
money
Use synonyms
 on the arts

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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