IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
Some believe that having a permanent
job
 is more important than enjoy a
job
. Others think that
job
 satisfaction is more important than
job
 security. In my opinion, I concur with the latter idea which I will explore in following essay.
First
, people who enjoy their jobs have more motivation of learning the skills and knowledges relate the jobs. As the result, they have the ability to improve their output. Take myself as an example. I am a data engineer and I do love my
job
. I have to use some skills like data mining, statistic, programming… etc.
to
Suggestion
To
 do business analyses.
Hence
, I take some online courses, read some essays and practice by myself in my free
time
.
Therefore
, I can improve my output of analyses, meanwhile I enjoy the process of learning.
Second
, the process of working will be more meaningful to people who enjoy their
job
. So that, they have a passion for working and willing to pay more
time
 and effort on their career. It can make people more productive.
For instance
, I have an artist friend who really likes painting. He always works over 8 hours a day just due to he enjoys it and forget the
time
.
As a result
, he has many creations and quality improve all the
time
.
On the other hand
,
job
 security which can
also
 represent the stable income may be another important factor for some people. If someone has to support a family, raise children and afford other more responsibilities, permanent
job
 may be his or her
first
 consider. To conclude,
job
 satisfaction can improve the quality of output and make people be productive.
However
,
job
 security may
also
 be important to some people. If people can find a permanent
job
 and enjoy it, it will be the best result.
Submitted by 莊曉薇 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: