These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays
,
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,
a number of families immigrate to abroad because they
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
that oversea have more job opportunities in
compar
Suggestion
comparison
compare
of own country.
as
Suggestion
As
matter
Suggestion
a matter
of fact
,
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,
children from these families will face both pros and cons. On one hand, there is no question about it that moving abroad will give children a better opportunity for
theire
of them or themselves
their
there
education specially
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education, especially
education especially
if they
immigrate
leave one's country of residence for a new one
emigrate
to developed countries
such
Linking Words
as, America
,
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,
England
,
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,
Japan and so forth.
their
Suggestion
Their
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
have
Suggestion
has
more attention
on
Suggestion
to
education program
Suggestion
the education program
.
Linking Words
besides
Suggestion
Besides
,
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,
children
Suggestion
the children
will face new culture and learning about history and custom can be very
funney
arousing or provoking laughter
funny
and informative.
another
Suggestion
Another
thing working abroad would offer them better working opportunity to earn money and raise their children better.
as
Suggestion
As
result their
Accept comma addition
result, their
children will have
better living comdition
Suggestion
better living conditions
better living condition
a better living condition
to develop.
On the other hand
Linking Words
moving to another country have some
nagative
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
effect on children
,
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,
for example
Linking Words
, struggle with new language which maybe
thay
people in general
they
that
can not manage it or a group of children get
depression which
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depression, which
the main causes is
get
Suggestion
getting
away from their friends or some of them can not get along with a new culture and condition. In my point of view transfer to other countries have several
benefit
Suggestion
benefits
and
darwback
the quality of being a hindrance
drawback
, in my opinion at
Linking Words
first maybe
Accept comma addition
first, maybe
children have some
problem bUt
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problem, but
problem but
after while they get along with
new situation
Suggestion
new situations
the new situation
a new situation
and they understand that in future
,
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,
the benefit more than
drawback
Suggestion
a drawback
.
Submitted by mojtaba hz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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