Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Watching TV is preferred by many kids day by day. Yet, Idiot box cannot substitute the book as a studying resource. That's why they are not getting enough education. In recent years, more and more children are choosing
watching
Suggestion
to watch
TV
instead
of doing
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
activities. In
this
way, they are getting a lot of advantages to increase their knowledge and they
also getting
Suggestion
are also getting
also get
lots of disadvantages. The role of TUBE is making youngsters clear, well-
knowladgeable
highly educated; having extensive information or understanding
knowledgeable
and even genius from their childhood.
Particularly they
Accept comma addition
Particularly, they
can learn other languages
easy with confidence
Suggestion
with easy confidence
and they can learn fast and qualitatively with subtitles and captions while watching TV programs, broadcasts and shows especially associated with science and subject. Thanks
for
Suggestion
to
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, students can get more information, lots of knowledge and even the news that associated with
study
Suggestion
the study
. Nowadays schools and colleges and universities and other educational places are closing due to COVID-19 is wide spread. And Students are using television as watching their lessons.
However we
Accept comma addition
However, we
have to pay attention another site of the watching television. It includes a couch potato who
is sit
Suggestion
is sitting
has sat
sits
in front of Idiot Box and spend a great deal of time for watching it.
Besides
, there are many problems which are acts of terror, bloodshed and violence and so on. Showing
this kinds
Suggestion
this kind
these kinds
of actions can give very bad effect on their psychology and mentally. So preventing
this problems
Suggestion
this problem
these problems
is depending on every family
members
Suggestion
member
especially parents and
also
government
Suggestion
the government
.
Firstly
have to take into consideration to children rather than work or daily problems. It would be asking about their studying at school or how they spend the day.
Secondly government
Accept comma addition
Secondly, government
should put some censorship and have to show only
family friends
Accept comma addition
family, friends
or cartoon connecting with science and study. I would like to assert that television is worthwhile for some special educational programs.
However
, it is not a viable alternative for books at all
Submitted by ann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Checks your essay in seconds
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.