IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment. what is your opinion?

#people #employers #work #environment #employee #focus #facilities #equipment
It has been argued that, what is essential To provide, for an organisation, a good work environment on an upgraded cultured with beneficial amenities. I think, in order to make business productive, both factors are vital to concern about, because employee satisfaction in Hanse the number and quality of outcome. To run a successful organisation, workers Are the key object to give attention. If a manager takes every decision based on organizational profit,
then
 it can cause many indignation and threats an opulent ambience in the workplace. Modern machineries and technics are undoubtedly crucial to compete in global markets, but if the relation between workers and employers is not friendly
then
 it hampers the overall objective. To extent of it, if an elder professional with lack of skill feels disrespectful,
then
 it hinders communication and flow of knowledge.
For example
, it has been shown in a research that, about 20% efficient population is unemployed and 60% suffer from depression and feels defeated due to bad circumstances. Job pressure can be handled, but mental dissatisfaction propels toward stress.
therefore
Suggestion
Therefore
, a boss should
also
 badge from an individual's perspective as well. The employer needs to maintain a Salubrious place where people don't hesitate to ask for a help and make everyone feel important which is a more effective way to vary fiscal gain despite providing gym, pick up and drop, on other facilities. In conclusion, the main motive of a Job is , to perform peacefully in-exchange for a handsome salary, other positions are secondary, like overtime, free medical service, work from home approvals etc. If the worker resentful of Bosse's treatment,
then
 any of the amenities would not be able to hold them.
Thus
, the primary on rudimentary matters are those on workers' satisfaction, which sustain the workforce and the longevity of the company.
Submitted by Satabdi Chowdhury on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: