IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
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Different people contain varied opinion about the
job
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 and its allied benefits. A section of them
prefer
Suggestion
prefers
 to enjoy deep
content
Suggestion
contentment
 and peace of mind in the
work
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 they are doing while rest others consider
fixed
Suggestion
a fixed job
job
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 for their long term monetary and other allied benefits. In my opinion, long lasting
job
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 should be opted for the
security
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 of
life
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 and family. I believe that permanent position at the
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work
a place where work is done
workplace
place
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 in today’s competitive world, signifies the most. A
person
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 contributes a long span of time in grasping education for achieving his or her dream
job
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. Not only
this
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, but
also
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 their parents compromise a lot by cutting down their spending on their wishes for the sake of their children's future. Lifetime
security
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 of
work
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 provides them a sense of financial
security
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 and stress free
life
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 in the contemporary age
of throat cut
Suggestion
of cut throat
 competition. With
this
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 benefit, a
person
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 can make a long term plan for investing money due to
regular flow
Suggestion
a regular flow
 of income and
able
Suggestion
ability
abilities
 to live
life
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 without any financial burden.
For example
Linking Words
, stable income maintains the joy and happiness in one's family and
life
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. On
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
, a section of
people
Suggestion
people, places
people places
place
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 satisfaction in the
work
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 on the top priority rather than glue them on the one position. They argue for enjoying the
job
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 and
work
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instead
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 of compromising their pleasure for maintaining
security
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 of
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job
Suggestion
jobs
a job
.
Furthermore
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, they opine that successful professional carrier brings positive impact on their personal arena.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a
person
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 can be contended even without
security
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 at the
work
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place
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,
Accept space
,
 if he or she enjoys what he does.
For example
Linking Words
, hectic schedule along with heavy load of
work
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,
Accept space
,
unable
Suggestion
Unable
 to deprive the happiness from a
person
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 who is satisfied from his or her
place
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 of
work
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. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
job
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 satisfaction remains a crucial part in one's professional carrier,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 suppose
security
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 of occupation is the utmost significant factor for living
life
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 without facing any financial burden and stress. Certainly, if
future
Suggestion
the future
 is secure, there is no way to look back.
Submitted by Shweta Pawar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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