In spite of the advances women have made in education and employment, they continue to be a disadvantage when it comes to paying and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace?

People have different views about how men and women
work
. Women in modern society often have better capacities than we thought. So achieving gender
equality
is considered to be an essential factor for
growth
Suggestion
the growth
of any organization.
This
essay will discuss
promotion
Suggestion
the promotion
of gender
equality
which should be shaped in
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
. Personally, I completely agree with
establish
Suggestion
establishing
policies to promote gender
equality
is a great idea.
First
thing
first
, establish a policy which ensures
both
men and women have
equality
from performing the same
work
. By that mean,
both
should be
equal
Suggestion
equally
pay
Suggestion
paid
. Pay should be reliant on job role. Because sometimes women
work
harder than men in a same working
environment but
Accept comma addition
environment, but
they are still paid as less as daily
work
. On
another hand
Suggestion
the other hand
other hand
, sexual harassment needs to be identified and immediately stopped in
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
. In my views, women are often blamed when they suffer that kind of harassment in their institutions and
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
impacts to their mentality.
This
should be forbidden in
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
.
However
, businesses can make a comfortable working environment for
both
men and women. Everyone has their own life and everything needs to be balanced. Especially women find it difficult to reach their career goals while they have to give their mind to caring their children. Businesses need to allow
both
men and women balance their
work
lives with their personal lives. So that they can have a better life and easier to
work
. Conclusion, there is a glass ceiling to break. It is hard to say women can't do a thing
this
day. We have to change every day to make
this
world growing without any sexist.
Submitted by Bunny Chan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: