IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, crime is increasing. what are the main reasons for this? and what can be done to improve the situation? support your position with relevant examples and include your own experience

#countries #crime #situation #support #position
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Crime is an action or activity
that is
Linking Words
 against the law, generally, It is an illegal activity. By the twenty-
first
Linking Words
 century, it is observed that the rate of crimes was expended widely in many areas of the world as well as it became more violent. Criminologists counted many reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they suggested a number of solutions and suggestions that can be followed to overcome
this
Linking Words
 crisis. Crime is often perceived as a problem of areas with high poverty levels. Poverty's effects on crime can be explained through a variety of reasons. There is a higher rate of mental illness in
the poor
Suggestion
poorer
 than in the rich.
Also
Linking Words
, poverty can lead to high levels of stress that in turn may lead individuals to commit theft, robbery, or other violent acts.
Moreover
Linking Words
, poverty may lead to an actual or perceived inferior education, which would prevent youth to obtain
quality education
Suggestion
a quality education
, jobs, and role models, and increasing the probability of spending time on the street associating with gangs.
Although
Linking Words
, the process of fighting crime is not simple, we can take steps to decrease it. We need to address the economic inequality which I believe is central to reducing crime and violence in the long run.
For instance
Linking Words
, more satisfactory jobs need to be created for
poor
Suggestion
the poor
.
Also
Linking Words
, high quality education should be granted for those who can't afford the fees. In conclusion, Crime is a problem that every country has to face up and
this
Linking Words
 operation will take a lot of time and
budget but
Accept comma addition
budget, but
 the right thing we must do is
preventing
Suggestion
prevent
 the conditions that draw people into violent or criminal
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Submitted by reham sobhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: