IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatment may not be available through this service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#country #health #service #treatment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Access to a good
health
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 without a doubt is very important for every
people
Suggestion
person
. As I say there is a poem that I know saying that
health
Use synonyms
 is more important than
anything
Suggestion
anything in this world
this
Linking Words
 world. But we know as the day goes by the cost of
health
Use synonyms
 care is moderately
rising making
Accept comma addition
rising, making
 it unaffordable for many poor people. These are the reason why we should have a free
health
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 by providing a free
Use synonyms
health
Suggestion
government health service
service
Use synonyms
government
Use synonyms
 can help to end the suffering of the less advantaged member of
community
Suggestion
a community
the community
 that couldn’t able to afford medical treatment.
Secondly
Linking Words
 because it is one of the
government
Use synonyms
 job to ensure the wellbeing and welfare of its people and by giving that free
health
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 the
government
Use synonyms
 already did on of their duty. But
government
Use synonyms
 must priorities medical services for the one who need it the most,
for example
Linking Words
 in Indonesia the
government
Use synonyms
 give the less advantage people a card called “BPJS” to help them get an easy acces to
health
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 but not all services can be given for free as for the expensive treatment they still have to pay but they can pay half of the price so its not entirely free. In conclusion, free
health
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 is an important thing that people should have. And it is the
government
Use synonyms
 duty to ensure the
wellbeing
Suggestion
well being
 of their people by providing a free
health
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
Submitted by nabila on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: