Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage people to take interest in art?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest

Despite the fact that

art

is a crucial part of

culture

Suggestion

cultural

herigtage

practices that are handed down from the past by tradition

heritage

worldwide, the majority of people nowadays tend to gravitate towards fields like science,

tecnology

the practical application of science to commerce or industry

technology

technologies

and business. In my point of view, the underlying cause is the development of technology, but

this

problem can be gradually resolved by proper promotion. It is notable to mention that as computers and machineries are evolving each day,

art

can

noy

negation of a word or group of words

not

guarantee a stable career in the future. While the fields of science or business are highly respected in society provided that they come with good payment and great demand in human resource, artists are struggling to make ends meet.

Moreover

mordern

belonging to the modern era; since the Middle Ages

modern

Modern

life seems to be moving at a faster rate, and people are becoming

more busier

Suggestion

busier

than before. Many spend most of their days glued to electronic devices or deal with personal concerns, which left them with no time to learn or appreciate the beauty of

art

that normally

can not

cannot

be perceived at

first

glance. Looking at the

brightside

Suggestion

bright side

, there is a solution to the matter,

that is

to promote

art

by handing out scholarships or opening workshops for students interested in the field. By

this

measn

how a result is obtained or an end is achieved

means

mean

, more people will be inspired and take

art

seriously, and universities will have

higher successful rate

Suggestion

a higher success rate

higher success rate

higher success rates

in recruiting those with

potential

Suggestion

the potential

for their courses.

In addition

art

should be

further

advertised on social media.

Consequently

, the public may acknowledge the importance of

art

Suggestion

artists

in life, so that they would set aside some of their time to

lear

gain knowledge or skills

learn

and appreciate it. In conclusion,

although

subjects

such

as science, technology and business are lucrative in terms of job prospects and drive

people

Suggestion

peoples'

peoples

person's

attention away from

art

, better promotion will certainly help

this

industry regain its position in society.

Submitted by Dieu Linh Hoang on Mon Jul 13 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage people to take interest in art?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled they say that the only way to increase recycling is for goverments to make it a legal requiremet.

We live in a worlds of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages the problems in terns of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent you agree

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?