IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

School should teach children good behaviour and interduce idea of right and wrong.it shoukd not only left to parents.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#school #children #behaviour #interduce #idea #right #shoukd #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
ultamodren
Suggestion
 epoch
,
Accept space
,
it is a point of debate that providing the
education
Use synonyms
 of good values and behaviour is
responsibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
 of schools rather than parents.
Undoubtedly
Accept comma addition
Undoubtedly, this
this
Linking Words
 notion remains
sucessfull
having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome
successful
 in keeping the majority in its favour.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight that
this
Linking Words
 certainly is a
ratinal
consistent with or based on or using reason
rational
 approach that needs to be opted. To commence with
,
Accept space
,
behavioural
education
Use synonyms
 must be given in the schools because juveniles spend their most of tine in schools.While some argue that patents should be
resposible
worthy of or requiring responsibility or trust; or held accountable
responsible
 for providing
education
Use synonyms
 regarding moral ethics
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would say that it is
resposibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
responsibility
 of
teacher
Suggestion
teachers
the teacher
a teacher
 to teach them
how distinguish
Suggestion
how to distinguish
 right from wrong.To elaborate it more, instructions about good
atticates
a commercial document showing that the holder is entitled to something (as to ride on public transportation or to enter a public entertainment)
tickets
educators
 provided by mentors
becaues
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they observe students
in
Suggestion
during
svhool
an educational institution
school
 hours.
For instance
Linking Words
, a research conducted by world
education
Use synonyms
 organisation showed that children who study in schools 80% more well mannered
;
Accept space
;
however
Linking Words
, others who complete their
education
Use synonyms
 at home has less manners.
Linking Words
Thus schools
Accept comma addition
Thus, schools
 play
piovtal role
Suggestion
a pivotal role
pivotal role
for
Suggestion
in
 granting
behaviural
of or relating to behavior
behavioural
dkills
an ability that has been acquired by training
skills
 to youngsters. Adding
futher
to or at a greater extent or degree or a more advanced stage ('further' is used more often than 'farther' in this abstract sense)
further
,
Accept space
,
how can
any one
any person
anyone
 forget teacher plays
indipensible
not to be dispensed with; essential
indispensable
 role in children's life.In
simole
having few parts; not complex or complicated or involved
simple
 words juveniles follow their mentor advices more than parents.
since
Suggestion
Since
 students learn
atticates
floor consisting of open space at the top of a house just below roof; often used for storage
attics
 from educators
,
Accept space
,
they
would be become
Suggestion
would become
gentalmen
a man of refinement
gentlemen
.To substantiate there is an epitome of local
news paper
a daily or weekly publication on folded sheets; contains news and articles and advertisements
newspaper
 article presented 70%of youngsters consider their tutors more intelligent than their
pparents
a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child; a relative who plays the role of guardian
parents
parent
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
,
Accept space
,
behaviouralskills
Suggestion
behavioural skills
 are delivered at
educatinal
relating to the process of education
educational
 places by educators. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
it can be asserted
fron
a giver or sender
from
 above
discussion
Accept comma addition
discussion, although
although
Linking Words
 contacting moral ethics and distinguish between right and wrong should be taught
at
Suggestion
in
 schools as
their
in or at that place
there
 is not any
plousible
apparently reasonable and valid, and truthful
plausible
 argument against the very
phnomenon
any state or process known through the senses rather than by intuition or reasoning
phenomenon
.
Submitted by Goldy Kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: