IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantages of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best.

#jobs #work #place #hours #travel #job
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Learning a foreign
language
 is one of the most important parts of students’ curriculum and it seems to be attention to teach a new
tongue
 should be considered before secondary
school
. In many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 a foreign
language
 is taught at secondary
school
. In
this
 situation, it is believed that pupils should learn their mother
tongue
 completely at primary
school
 and nothing must distract them from their first
language
.
This
 theory is based on
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that the
fundamental
Fix the agreement mistake
fundamentals
show examples
 of all languages
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the same and if
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
learned
Wrong verb form
learns
show examples
 the structure of one
language
 correctly, understanding of other
tongue
 would be easy, therefor teaching the second
language
 at secondary
school
 is not necessary. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, some experts come up with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea that the sooner, the better. It is assumed to learn a new
language
, the best age groups are children and teenagers
thus
 for youngsters, learning a new
tongue
 is easier than
Change preposition
for elder
show examples
elder
Fix the agreement mistake
elders
show examples
 and
efficiency
Correct pronoun usage
their efficiency
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is more obvious.
Furthermore
, children can use the other
tongue
 at less
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,
for example
, they can read a story, watch a movie or communicate with a friend from
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 of
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 when they are still very young and
this
 subject can ameliorate their abilities and skills. In the general
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 the merits of learning a foreign
language
 outweigh the drawbacks. In conclusion,
while
 in some countries teaching a foreign
language
 is a secondary
school
 curriculum, it is better to transfer
this
 lesson subject to primary
school
 and teach a new
language
 at the same time
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 first once.
Submitted by Sajad on

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task response
In the introduction, clearly state your opinion on which type of job you think is best. Make sure to address all parts of the prompt, including discussing the advantages of both types of jobs.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by dividing it into paragraphs with clear topic sentences for each main idea. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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