IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#companies #people #communication #employers #workers #factor #factors
Some groups of people assert that the decisive key for big enterprises to win in a competitive business market belongs to, how the managers create an efficient connection with their employees. Meanwhile, there are other contrasting arguments that the existence of various components is far more essential. Two sides of these viewpoints will be discussed in my following essay. On the one hand, if a company lacks the understanding between its human resources, there will be several adverse influences that prevent it from functioning productively and achieving the targets
such
 as the profit and the confidence of customers.
For example
, the misinterpretation of the labourers to the strategies and plans formed by their owners can result in the contradiction of outcomes made from the distinct parts of the corporation.
Moreover
,
such
 effective communication and implementation of decisions contribute to a pleasant and smooth working environment.
On the other hand
, there are many other factors for a fruitful business corporation that are considered more significant compared to the ones mentioned above. The
first
 thing is the competence of the executive apparatus.
For instance
, a director has a narrow vision and uncreative thinking may lead to numerous obstacles for the producer to be distinguished and eminent in the market. The other required thing is the reliability and availability of good workers since many enterprises failed to reach their targets due to the lack of a skilled workforce. To summarize, the quality transmission between the administrators and their staff is a necessary point that any kind of organizations need to spend time building it.
However
, I believe that there is a demand for other things to make it possible,
such
 as qualified controllers and adept workforce.
Submitted by Nguyễn Thanh Thảo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: