IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #information #transport #car #edmonton #summarise #features #comparisons
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The pie chart provides information regarding the
people
Use synonyms
 of Edmonton use
transport
Use synonyms
-
car
Use synonyms
, LRT, Bus,
Taxi
Correct word choice
and Taxi
show examples
 for their travel; and the table
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 as their
transport
Use synonyms
 in their city. The
data's
Change noun form
data
show examples
 in both the pie chart and table are calibrated into a percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, Most
people
Use synonyms
 prefer a
car
Use synonyms
; it made up the most significant
transport
Use synonyms
, having almost half of the
overall
Linking Words
 percentage: almost more than half of the
people
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
transport
Use synonyms
 for their commute to work. Both
Bus
Fix the agreement mistake
Buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, have been used by
very
Correct article usage
the very
show examples
 least
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their journey.
Car
Use synonyms
 accounted for 45%, becoming the most used
transport
Use synonyms
 in Edmonton.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by LRT with just a 10% difference, having 35%. The
third
Linking Words
 position was given to
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
, and both contributed the same proportion of 10%. Moving to the table,
Correct article usage
the Commute
show examples
Commute
Wrong verb form
Commuting
show examples
 to work is the
reason
Use synonyms
 placed by more than half of the
people
Use synonyms
 (55%). The
second
Linking Words
 most
reason
Use synonyms
 which accounted for 45%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Business. There is just a 5% difference between the
reason
Use synonyms
 for business and taking children to school. Surprisingly,
People
Use synonyms
 give a
reason
Use synonyms
 for using a
car
Use synonyms
 for their purpose of shopping and leisure activities with the same percentage of 15%.
Submitted by Pavansai Vemula on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, car, transport, reason with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transportation modes
  • car ownership
  • proportion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • transportation habits
  • environmental awareness
  • government policies
  • public transport infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • congestion
  • environmental quality
  • future implications
  • adapt
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