IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries.

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries.
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The given diagrams illustrate the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption for various uses and the amount of global
water
Use synonyms
 usage in the kilometre - cube by various sectors which include Domestic
Use
Use synonyms
, Industrial
Use
Use synonyms
 and Agricultural
Use
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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utilization
Correct article usage
the utilization
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural purposes was the highest,
whereas
Linking Words
 for domestic
use
Use synonyms
 it was the least. The pie chart shows that the largest
water
Use synonyms
 consumer was agriculture, which accounted for 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Industry consumed a considerable amount of
water
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
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accounting
to
Change preposition
for
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 about 22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and standing
at
Change preposition
apply
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second
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 area. The purpose of drinking
water
Use synonyms
 had the least
water
Use synonyms
 utilisation at about 2 %,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 utilised for domestic purposes was about 6%.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph,
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural uses was the highest, which saw a substantial increase from the 500 kilometre - cube in the year 1900 to 4000
kilometre-cube
Correct your spelling
kilometre cube
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 in the year 2000. The
water
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 used for Industrial and Domestic purposes mirrored each other till 1970 and increased considerable amounts to the
second
Linking Words
 and the
last
Linking Words
 positions among the given categories.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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