Violence in the media promotes violence in society. To what extent do you agree?

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Children
are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures? One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people believing that nowadays,
children
are strained from various sources
such
As
an
Correct article usage
apply
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academic, social, and commercial. There is a widespread worry and
this
Will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to a million
of
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apply
show examples
concerns in one's life. There are numerous reasons and solutions to alleviate
this
Issue. First And foremost is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic pressure
is
Verb problem
apply
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adversely
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
because there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tough competition with their classmates. So, they
work
Hard
Fix capitalization
hard
show examples
to get higher grades. Even, their parents want them to excel in every field.
Secondly
, youngsters have to keep an eye on their
overall
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
in certain areas like physical fitness and extracurricular activities
for maintaining
Change preposition
to maintain
show examples
the society
Replace the word
social
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and status.
Moreover
, most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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companies require
qualified
Correct article usage
a qualified
show examples
workforce to win the rat race.
Therefore
,
this
Pours the thoughts
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
parent's
Change noun form
parents'
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
the students are well qualified, only
then
They will get the best employment opportunities.
For instance
,
due to
tough competition in corporate sectors, businesses need talented employees who
work
Efficient
Change the word
Efficiently
show examples
and fast to meet the targeted goals in a short time. There are,
however
, some possible solutions that can overwhelm these causes.
Firstly
, to overcome the education pressure, both parents and teachers must look after each individual progress and
work
On their weaknesses.
Furthermore
, with respect to
societal-tension
Correct your spelling
societal tension
show examples
, one must teach moral values to their
children
.
For example
, elders must guide them
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to behave with others.
Finally
, companies should permit recreational activities for their employees so that they can feel relaxed and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
cope with stress.
As a result
, they will more focus on the
work
.
To conclude
, over a certain period of time,
children
are facing stress from different sectors like academic, social, and commercial, but there are measures to address each of them.
Submitted by Azimbek Shirinboyev on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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