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Band 4

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. how true do you think this statement is? what measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measures #governments #people #cars
As we can see over the past thirty year, the
traffic
 jam became a great trouble for big cities in the world. The reasons for
this
, were
skyrocket
Suggestion
skyrocketing
 at the number of cars circulating on the streets.
Besides
 that, bad quality of public
transportation
at
Suggestion
in
 some cities contributes to increase
traffic
 in that
cities
Suggestion
city
.
Therefore
, public
transportation
 is the point that governments should improve to become streets less crowded with cars. In the
last
 year,
car
 ownership has increased enormously due to growth of
cars
Suggestion
car
 industry. Thereby, it is evident that
this
 industry had to make viable the
car
 production purchase, facilitating either with attractive financing or with irresistible prices.
Thus
, a great number of people get their own
car
, once it
facilitate
Suggestion
facilitates
 their
lives diminishing
Accept comma addition
lives, diminishing
 the time of their routes and the ease of use available anytime.
However
, it was to be expected that road network should have grown proportionally with increasing of cars in the
last
 years, but it is not a true. So, what we see are huge
traffic
 jam in cities. As it is not
possible avoid
Accept comma addition
possible, avoid
car
 industry to keep producing and buying cars, governments need take some solutions for these great congestions. Transporting people must be done in some way to discourage them to use their own cars around
streets
Suggestion
the streets
. The most effective way to make
this
 viable is with an excellent public
transportation
, which is fast, punctual and effective between interconnections with others transportations when needed.
Therefore
, if governments do not take any initiatives to change and improve the quality of public
transportation
, they will see increasingly the increasing of
traffic
 jam in cities which will collapse in
few years
Suggestion
a few years
. A huge public transport is the solution for
this
 in a short time.
Submitted by Vinicius Castro on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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