IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #say #activities
Many full-time undergraduates usually dedicate a majority of their time to learning their major subjects, yet they ought to participate in extracurricular activities as well. I strongly agree with
this
 statement and will give my reasons below.
First
, various experiences enhance
employment possibility
Suggestion
employment possibilities
 of
student
Suggestion
students
the student
. For the extracurricular activities, students are involved in many different communities. Undertaking those experiences, students can be equipped with problem solving ability and they can easily adjust themselves into
team
Suggestion
teams
a team
 based society.
In other words
, those extracurricular activities in varied
fields help
Suggestion
fields to help
 students be
stood
Suggestion
standing
 out from the employment market. Another point to consider is that extracurricular activities provide students to take some break from their high volume of studying materials. Being highly educated is naturally accompanied by a large amount of stresses that students have to overcome;
however
, if students do not have any other activities to release their
stresses
Suggestion
stress
then
 it may cause them burnout syndrome. Spending their time on extracurricular activities let them freshen their mind again.
Therefore
, they can fully concentrate on their studies again. In conclusion, full-time university students
should do
Accept comma addition
should, do
 not only studying their
major but
Accept comma addition
major, but
also
 experiencing extracurricular activities for their future employability as well as successful stress management.
Submitted by Hyejin Jo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: