Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possessions. How far do you agree with this statement.

#friends #happiness #money #possessions

It is argued that

money

and

properties

Fix the agreement mistake

property

show examples

cannot give you a happy

life

. Definitely family and friends are important

issue

Change the noun form

issues

show examples

in everyone's

life

. In my opinion,

this

is totally true that

percious

Correct your spelling

precious

people

in our lives are more crucial than

money

and possessions, yet they have had a key role

Change preposition

show examples

a better

life

, but these cannot provide

happiness

all of the time in your

life

. As all

people

have a family and at least a close friend to

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

with them to have some fun or participate

Change preposition

in their

show examples

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

best and worst

moment

Fix the agreement mistake

moments

show examples

of their relationship and friendship as

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

percious

Correct your spelling

precious

However

, humans can make a family or friend, so in

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

people

are important because they can bring

Change preposition

apply

show examples

you

happiness

or madness. It is notable that

fundamental

Correct article usage

the fundamental

show examples

of a relationship is regarding by

delightfull

Correct your spelling

delightful

and positive energy which these are

emerged

Wrong verb form

emerges

show examples

For example

, giving

Remove the article

apply

show examples

birth to your child or

held

Wrong verb form

holding

show examples

an anniversary party to your friend can bring

happiness

and spread joy to anyone.

In addition

, objects

such

money

and properties can give you

Change the article

show examples

mazing

Correct your spelling

amazing

show examples

life

, but

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

not forever.

Happiness

comes from

heart

Add an article

the heart

show examples

which you can feel

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and get positive energy and properties

Correct pronoun usage

that do

show examples

not feel that, nontheless they can provide joy.

For instance

, many

people

live in poverty

Correct word choice

and

show examples

some children have had

disadvantages

Replace the word

disadvantaged

show examples

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

, but they are happy. Striving to cheer you and your relatives up is a crucial treatment that you can do .

To sum up

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

and

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

are playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

a key role

about

Change preposition

show examples

this

because these are strong

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

fundamental

happiness

Although

money

and

possession

Fix the agreement mistake

possessions

show examples

provide

joyful

Replace the word

joy

show examples

anytime

Correct your spelling

time

show examples

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

in my view, it is temporary and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

does not come from a real heart and

felling

Correct your spelling

feeling

show examples

Submitted by Mojtaba Shiralian on Thu Jul 23 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction is unclear and the conclusion is not well-developed. The essay lacks clarity and coherence in expressing ideas. The examples used are somewhat relevant. The overall task response is adequate, but the ideas need to be presented more comprehensively.

Task Achievement

The response to the task is somewhat complete, but the ideas lack clarity and specific details. The examples used are somewhat relevant to the topic, but the essay does not fully address the prompt. The ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Emotional well-being
Intrinsic value
Meaningful activities
Diminishing returns
Temporary pleasure
Psychological needs
Long-term satisfaction
Interdependence
Community and belonging
Supportive relationships

What to do next:

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Friends and family bring more happiness than money and possessions. How far do you agree with this statement.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Childern have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometime starting until the age of five or six, right up until the age of eighteen. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making childern do exams?

Communication technologies, such as smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, have experienced rapid developments. Some people think the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.