Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little on sports. Why is it? Is it postive or negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #postive #development

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With the advance technology

improvement

Suggestion

improves

improved

, it is true that children no longer spend time going to outdoor to attend sport activities. They choose to spend time playing their

computer

Use synonyms

games.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the causes of

this

Linking Words

and how is it a negative development. There are two main reasons why children always sit in front of their

computer

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all,

Use synonyms

computer

Suggestion

the computer

has become one of the main parts of children's entertainment. With fast development in the field of science and technology, children have access to

computer

Use synonyms

games related to sports

such

Linking Words

as FIFA and 3D versions of playing tennis, basketball, riding boating on

Use synonyms

computer

Suggestion

the computer

. Eventually, children are less motivated about outdoor sports.

Besides

Linking Words

that, lots of parents are always busy with work,

this

Linking Words

limited children to attend outdoor sports without adult accompany. A lot of places

such

Linking Words

as park restrict children from playing certain types of sports

such

Linking Words

as football and tennis.

Therefore

Linking Words

, children has switched their sporting time to playing

computer

Use synonyms

games.

This

Linking Words

trend causes negative development as children are restricted from attending outdoor sports. Children have a higher chance of getting glasses from a young age and other health problems

such

Linking Words

as obesity and depression. Lack of adequate communication skills with children around their age and become less energetic with sports activities. Overall, negative outweighs the positive effect. In conclusion, advancements in technology

has allowed

Suggestion

have allowed

children to have more access to games,

howeverhowever it

Accept comma addition

however however, it

however however it

bring

Suggestion

brings

lots of

disvanatges

Suggestion

towards child life. As lesser outdoor activities causes the children to become less social and avoid communicating as they has been sitting

infront

Suggestion

in front

of their

computer

Use synonyms

Submitted by melody su on Sat Jul 25 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little on sports. Why is it? Is it postive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

University students must pay all tuition fees, because it benefits mostly them individually, rather than the society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. can artificial intelligence enhace the learning experience? Is it a positive or negative development?