Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little on sports. Why is it? Is it postive or negative development?

With the advance technology
improvement
Suggestion
improves
improved
, it is true that children no longer spend time going to outdoor to attend sport activities. They choose to spend time playing their
computer
games.
This
essay will discuss the causes of
this
and how is it a negative development. There are two main reasons why children always sit in front of their
computer
.
First
of all,
computer
Suggestion
the computer
has become one of the main parts of children's entertainment. With fast development in the field of science and technology, children have access to
computer
games related to sports
such
as FIFA and 3D versions of playing tennis, basketball, riding boating on
computer
Suggestion
the computer
. Eventually, children are less motivated about outdoor sports.
Besides
that, lots of parents are always busy with work,
this
limited children to attend outdoor sports without adult accompany. A lot of places
such
as park restrict children from playing certain types of sports
such
as football and tennis.
Therefore
, children has switched their sporting time to playing
computer
games.
This
trend causes negative development as children are restricted from attending outdoor sports. Children have a higher chance of getting glasses from a young age and other health problems
such
as obesity and depression. Lack of adequate communication skills with children around their age and become less energetic with sports activities. Overall, negative outweighs the positive effect. In conclusion, advancements in technology
has allowed
Suggestion
have allowed
children to have more access to games,
howeverhowever it
Accept comma addition
however however, it
however however it
bring
Suggestion
brings
lots of
disvanatges
towards child life. As lesser outdoor activities causes the children to become less social and avoid communicating as they has been sitting
infront
Suggestion
in front
of their
computer
.
Submitted by melody su on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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