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Band 5.5

Some people think only parents are responsible for teaching children how to behave. Others think the main responsibility lies with schools and the government. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #responsibility #schools #government #points
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Undoubtedly, kids need to be put under a microscope to record their behaviour and attitudes. The parents are the most responsible for
this
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,
however
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, the governments and schools play a major rule on it too. In
this
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 essay I will discuss both points, and give relevant examples. Nowadays children spend most of their
time
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 in classes or with friends, and they usually impact the child's personality.
For instance
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, My nephew, who is 7 years old now, spend 70% of his
time
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 with his classmates and I can see from his way of talking and managing his life, that he adapted new behaviours from them. At the same
time
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, my brother and his wife, taught him the
first
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 7 year of his life, which means he already had some fundamental bases of personalities that got impacted later from his environment. As fathers usually are the idol of their kids, they are responsible to be careful of doing any unexpected attitude in front of them.
Moreover
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, statics implied that more than half of the children in
schools
Suggestion
the schools
 prefer to copy their father's actions in front of their friends.
Consequently
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, classmates start to copy each other too, that means the environments they live in
also
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 affect their behaviour. In developed countries, environments of playgrounds and kindergarten are fully controlled by the governments. To sum up, both views build each other. Governments and schools are responsible as much as parents.
Thats
Suggestion
That's
 because kids are willing to copy their parents and friends at the same
time
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, and they spend most of the
time
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 outside home in an
enviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 that managed by governments.
Submitted by Abdullah Y H ALNAFA on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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