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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart represents the
export
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citrus
fruits
Use synonyms
 (Oranges, Lemons, Grapefruits and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
) from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
six countries
Mexico
Use synonyms
,
Correct article usage
the U.S
show examples
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
, Egypt, South Africa, Argentina, and Turkey in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2012. It is noticeable that all countries had the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
export
Use synonyms
 of different
fruits
Use synonyms
. The highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of Oranges exported by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South Africa,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is 100o
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
united
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
 states exported only around 400
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
. The highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of lemons exported by
Mexico
Use synonyms
, which were 500
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Interesting
Add an article
An interesting
The interesting
show examples
 fact was that
Mexico
Use synonyms
 had the same
amount
Use synonyms
 load of
export
Use synonyms
 of other
fruits
Use synonyms
. Egypt and
united
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 had very low
export
Use synonyms
 of other
fruits
Use synonyms
 around 10
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
. Grapefruits were exported
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the highest value by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
turkey with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
400
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Mexico
Use synonyms
 and
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 had exportation of grapefruits
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
300
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 and 200
thousand
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
Overall
Linking Words
, lemon and other fruit were exported by
Mexico
Use synonyms
 in
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 amounts
while
Linking Words
 Oranges and grapefruit
Use synonyms
export
Add a missing verb
were export
show examples
 by South Africa and
turkey
Change the capitalization
Turkey
show examples
 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words export, fruits, mexico, amount, thousand, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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