The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unemployment is a very concerning topic in many countries. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have to
work
Use synonyms
extremely hard in order to make a good living. I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
is a grave social problem nowadays. Some individuals believe that there are still
people
Use synonyms
who do not have a high-paying
job
Use synonyms
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
suffer from unemployment. It is argued that because of the large number of jobs with low salaries. Since not everyone can afford quality education, they might lack the necessary knowledge to get a well-paid career.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
do not need any special skills or
work
Use synonyms
experience to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food service
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
, but
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
does not allow them to live a fulfilling life. Despite
this
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that many
people
Use synonyms
are suffering from having long working hours to make a high income.
First,
Linking Words
most companies pay their employees for overtime
work
Use synonyms
. Since
people
Use synonyms
need a large sum of money to pay for various needs and expenses,
such
Linking Words
as food and healthcare, they are willing to do additional
work
Use synonyms
to improve their income.
This
Linking Words
leads to a smaller number of opportunities in the
job
Use synonyms
market because many businesses already have hardworking and valuable workers.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
job
Use synonyms
market is very competitive.
Consequently
Linking Words
, to get a high-paying
job
Use synonyms
and to keep that position, workers have to show great performance constantly.
This
Linking Words
might result in working extra hours to meet deadlines and to get the best results. All things considered, I believe that inequality is a very serious issue.
While
Linking Words
some individuals have to
work
Use synonyms
overtime,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others might suffer from unemployment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your ideas are directly relevant to the topic and that all parts of the question are addressed.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer connections between your ideas and ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs and sentences.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: