IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. Given time, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#technology #world #time #teacher #classroom
We are very well aware of the
technogy which
Accept comma addition
technology, which
technology which
 is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world
today but
Accept comma addition
today, but
 there are few methods like teaching in the
classroom
 has its own advantages over technology
.
Accept space
.
 I am going to share my opinion
in
Suggestion
on
this
 topic. As we all have
very tight schedule
Suggestion
a very tight schedule
 and we want everything to be served
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of us without going to the place.
Moreover with
Accept comma addition
Moreover, with
 a click of a button we can learn several things on our mobile, computer, television
.
Accept space
.
 Though with
this
 method of learning we get different body pain sitting at one place but still it is being preferred as everything is automatic and saves our time
.
Accept space
.
 Going to school
,
Accept space
,
college and learning from
teacher
Suggestion
a teacher
teachers
the teacher
 in the
classroom
is
Suggestion
has been
 old method yet full of fun
.
Accept space
.
 Not only the
teacher
 teaches but there will interactive conversations amongst students and
teacher
.
Moreover
, healthy discussions will be followed in each session of
classroom
.
This
 adds to bodily movement and exercise.
However
,
Accept space
,
classroom
 has its own discipline and students try to learn to maintain the same. The only disadvantage is that we have to commute to
th
definite article
the
classroom
 which sometimes takes time
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 it is hard to say that technology is replacing the
teacher
 in the
classroom
 because both have its own positives and negatives. Younger kids who are not given internet mostly prefer going to school for
classroom
 studies.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
 it is based on individual work load which decides
use
Suggestion
the use
 of technology or
classroom
 study.
Submitted by Apoorva Dey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: