Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Women
Change noun form
Women's
show examples
empowerment has been accepted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various countries. Nowadays, It has contributed a major role in the development of any nation. Some people are apparently of the opinion that
women
should be
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of different wings of military
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
such
as the
army
Capitalize word
Army
show examples
, the navy and the
air force
Correct your spelling
Air Force
show examples
. I
also
Add a missing verb
am also
show examples
in favour as their roles are vital. History has a number of the
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
where
women
have shown significant work to support the plethora of tasks. Their involvement in national defence services Will improve the
overall
system.
Moreover
, their loyalty,
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
will definitely change the current culture.
In addition
, they have wider abilities To handle any pressure and decision power would
also
enhance the traditional thoughts which have been followed by many reserved countries.
For example
, India has started recruiting young graduated girls for the part of the naval force. They will be given rigorous training and placed
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
respectful position to serve the Indian Navy service.
For instance
, an article published -'
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
Times'
Change noun form
Times
show examples
- stated that more than 50% of
women
have passed their physical test and
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
to join duties.
On the other hand
, It is
also
undeniable that
women
have
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a huge responsibility to manage
the
Change the word
their
show examples
families.
Besides
, the sociability and discipline towards Society, they
also
have too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
health and
body related
Add a hyphen
body-related
show examples
complications.
Furthermore
, It is obviously challenging to handle two roles and take care of the family members and at the same time work for the nation.
This
could be one of the reasons Why
divorce
Correct article usage
the divorce
show examples
rate has been found in increasing trend in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
, those are working in the
air force
Correct your spelling
Air Force
show examples
or the
navy
Capitalize word
Navy
show examples
. To illustrate, various studies conducted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India revealed that out of 10 couples,
however
, 2 couples, got divorced
due to
the main factor of their roles Towards military jobs. In a nutshell, it is evident from the above discussions that
women
are
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of society and
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
should have
Correct article usage
the rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to join the services.
Nevertheless
, they Should be mentally ready to face any issues
due to
this
.
Submitted by mohan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • combat roles
  • physical prowess
  • stamina
  • dynamics
  • cohesion
  • resilience
  • integration
  • gender disparities
  • morale
  • recruitment
  • retention
  • biological differences
  • stereotypes
  • feminism
  • glass ceiling
  • break barriers
  • pioneer
  • groundbreaking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: