Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #friends #sites #chat #rooms #idea #face

Migration of people from rural

area

urban

Suggestion

an urban area

area

is a common phenomenon, but it is hard to say that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On one hand, people migrate from rural

area

to cities in search of better jobs, and to extension, good quality of life. Healthcare facilities in cities are of higher quality than those are available in villages. Pupils can

also

give better education and better opportunities to their children.

Hence

, the influx of people from rural

area

has been escalated.

On the other hand

, with

increase

Suggestion

the increase

an increase

increases

in influx, demands have

also

increased. People who are able to find better jobs, able to meet expectations of city life. But those who can't, are forced to live in slum

area

; where healthcare and education qualities are questionable.

High influx

Suggestion

The high influx

of people

also

leads to traffic congestion and air pollution. In conclusion, when people

moves

Suggestion

move

Suggestion

into

cities and get a good

jobs

Suggestion

job

, it improves

thier

of them or themselves

their

lives.

However

, when they fail to do so, they end up struggling.

Moreover

, it

also

deteriorates

general quality

Suggestion

the general quality

of life. In my opinion, advantages and disadvantages more or less are same.

Submitted by Tanvi on Thu Jul 30 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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