Many people believe that money is very important consideration when choosing a job as it can help you get paper lifestyle.however ,there are some people who believe it is important to have a job you enjoy and that this and not money will lead to greater happiness and more personal life.

#people #money #consideration #job #paper #lifestyle #happiness #life

this

globalization era, working people always have two options good

salary

and

job

satisfaction.

some

Suggestion

Some

individuals think that

money

is very necessary for our

life

and we should select higher income jobs

Accept space

while others assert that

job

satisfaction should get higher priority over

salary

Accept space

I will shed light on both the views and my opinion in subsequent paragraphs. On one hand

Accept space

some people always have

perception

Suggestion

the perception

that using

money

power we can do everything.

people

Suggestion

People

think that it is necessary to check the wages

first

when they looking for jobs.Because

money

is an essential source to fulfil our basic amenities and fulfil our dreams.To

Suggestion

illustrate

Accept space

survey conducted in developing countries,

majority

Suggestion

the majority

of people prefer to join those companies which

offers

Suggestion

offer

them

large amount

Suggestion

a large amount

large amounts

salary

Accept space

Moreover

, people always give higher priority to

salary

rather than work, because parents want to give better education to their children and they have invested huge amount of

money

Suggestion

their children's education

Accept space

this

way

Accept space

they can improve the future of their children. On the other side,

job

satisfaction plays crucial role in worker's

life

Accept space

If people do not get interesting work they can face

lose

Suggestion

losing

Accept space

Money

cannot buy happiness and peace in

life

Accept space

some

Suggestion

Some

people even left their jobs and start their own business

Accept space

More so, sometimes people get stressed when they have stressed when they have unwanted work

Accept space

also

affects their nature and family

life

. Sometimes

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it can

lead mental health problems

Suggestion

lead to mental health problems

.Health care researchers assert that one who is satisfied with their

job

are less prone to health problems and have a better

life

than those who are

workholic

person with a compulsive need to work

workaholic

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To recapitulate,

although

money

is necessary to buy materialistic

things but

Accept comma addition

things, but

it cannot provide real happiness

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I opine that health is more important than

money

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to a very great extent or degree

people should choose their

job

related to their interest.

Submitted by Parm on Thu Jul 30 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that money is very important consideration when choosing a job as it can help you get paper lifestyle.however ,there are some people who believe it is important to have a job you enjoy and that this and not money will lead to greater happiness and more personal life.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that internet create many problems. To what extent you agree or disagree?

some experts belive that it is better for childern to begain learning a foeign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. do the advantage of this outweight the diadvantages?

Some people think that youngsters should get involved in unpaid work, while others oppose as it may affect their career. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include and relevant examples.