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Band 4.5

Nowadays more and more people choose living separately from their families. What are its causes and consequences?

#people #families #consequences
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We live in an age when many of us really hurry up becoming
grow
Suggestion
grown
up but
Accept comma addition
up, but
 not in case with
age but
Accept comma addition
age, but
 in case of gaining independence and freedom of action. The most common way it can be reached by living
separately
Suggestion
separated
 from their relatives.
However
Linking Words
, there are not only advantages but disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 approach to life. Let us examine both views before reaching a concrete decision. To my
way of thinking living
Suggestion
way of thinking, living
 alone or with your friends has many benefits to you. To communicate with your buddy
is
Suggestion
has been
 often more comfortable.
Likewise
Linking Words
, you’re better feeling each other cause there is no generation gap. Some people have a barrier to discuss something with their parents. In the same way sometimes you just need a rest after work/studying which you can’t get if you live in huge family. In normal life I live with my parents, but when I studied abroad, I was living in a dormitory during 6 months alone. I did whatever I wanted and needed and nobody distracted me. I had silence atmosphere after
long work day
Suggestion
a long work day
, and that was awesome.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are significant drawbacks. One of them a lack of care. No one will take care of you as family. When I had an exchange program in England during one year I wasn’t bored cause I had a lot of new friends and height networking and many activities, but I was missing conversations with my mother and her hugs.
Linking Words
Also I
Accept comma addition
Also, I
 should had spent time for cooking and washing, the things, which was
mom’s
informal term for a mother
mamas
 at home. And all of us sometimes need a quality advice, which I get by talking to my family. In conclusion, I would like to say, that’s it so important to keep in touch with your family always, even if you live separately. No one is closer to you
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 family, even if they are far from away.
Submitted by Nastya Shaveiko on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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