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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational; otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time
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Experts thought developing and developed countries have debated on whether students spend time on those
activities acquiring
Accept comma addition
activities, acquiring
 educational input or they ought to play games with leisure atmosphere.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of views with illustrating examples of Oxford University and Harvard University
regarding
Suggestion
regards
modern trend
Suggestion
the modern trend
 of
playgroup
Suggestion
Playgroup
 teaching module and the development of
brain
Suggestion
the brain
 during childhood. Personally, I strongly agree that a child should receive a certain amount of the knowledge through
participanting
taking part in an activity
participating
 the well-organized program, which is more beneficial for the neuron connection
developments
Suggestion
developer
. On the one hand, for those kids who aged between 3 and 8 years old, the establishment of
brain cell connecting network
Suggestion
a brain cell connecting network
 is depending on training their logical thinking and linguistic knowledge during
playing
Suggestion
play
 enjoyable games and events.
For instance
Linking Words
, according to
Oxford University study
Suggestion
an Oxford University study
 shows the test result that a group of students
are
Suggestion
is
 5 to 6 years old who were trained those
knowlegable
highly educated; having extensive information or understanding
knowledgeable
 lessons, which their academic results were graded good and excellent. All in all, there is a good prospective arrangement for their future.
On the other hand
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, if there is no related
knowledge background
Accept comma addition
knowledge, background
 putting in the school program, they will only have a single benefit of happy and
enjoyable
Suggestion
enjoying
 school life.
For example
Linking Words
, from the result of the study from the Harvard University, the same age group of teenage
had took
Suggestion
was taking
 part of the relaxing program without any input
of
Suggestion
on
 the new wording or mathematic task, eventually, their self-esteem was very low among these students after graduation of primary school. To conclude,
although
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 the scheduled scheme of the event should be added an ingredient of the language and mathematical skill, the educator
do not forget
Suggestion
does not forget
 to prepare in a funny and without
pressure moment
Suggestion
a pressure moment
 of
time slot
Suggestion
the time slot
time slots
 for them to learn the valuable idea and materials. I definitely agree that the tasks contain educational contents in a gaming setting, which provides a better guide for the children's brain and personality development.
Submitted by Tina FUNG on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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