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Band 4

Fast food has become so popular worldwide that it is destroying the nutritional quality of food. What do you think because of this the traditional food and cooking method is being forgotten? Do you agree or disagree with the statement give reasons for your answer?

#food #quality #method
In today’s
fast growing
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fast-growing
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 world, lifestyle is changing so quickly in every aspect of
human’s
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human
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 life that it affects negatively in degrading
the
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their
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overall
 health
of
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apply
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themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. People have chosen to move towards
junk
 foods which became so famous among them that it is diminishing the healthy and nutritious
meals
. As per my viewpoint, I do analyse both
the
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apply
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sides of
this
 alarming trend and will come to a logical point in the latter view.
To begin
 with, members of
the
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apply
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society are enhancing
the
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their
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 intake of
junk
 foods these days
due to
 hectic
job
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jobs
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 or business
schedule
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schedules
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 to focus more on their careers.
Similarly
, these days both the person in the family, work and they
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that cooking
meals
 at home is
Correct article usage
a totally
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totally
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total
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 waste of time and they can contribute the same time period for developing innumerable skills to achieve more milestones in their careers.
In addition
 to it,
food
 chain companies
which
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apply
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imposed
high
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a high
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 proportion of funds in making attractive advertisements to bring more customers to consume
burger
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burgers
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, pizza, pasta and so on, but it could lead them to highly contagious diseases
such
 as tuberculosis, diabetes,
heart
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and heart
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 problems in the long run.
For instance
, one of the most popular
franchise
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franchises
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 “
McDonalds
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Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
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” which is a pioneer in
the
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apply
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junk
food
meals
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 more than 1000 outlets in 150 countries across the globe
had
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has
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 been found under screening
to
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for
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 the usage of hazardous additives to taste
food
 in a better way.
Moreover
, persons
cannot
Verb problem
are not
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 able to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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 a healthy lifestyle of family
due to
 more consumption of fast foods which
lacks in
Verb problem
are
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 full of vitamins and proteins.
Therefore
, it leads them to various kinds of deficiencies in the physical body which can cause many chronic diseases
such
 as obesity, low blood pressure, fast
aging
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ageing
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 and vice versa. To cite an example, in North
America
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America,
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 more than 80% of citizens choose to grab non-traditional
meals
and
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apply
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out of which 70%
people
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of people
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 are suffering from
such
 chronic diseases.
To conclude
,
as per
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in
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 my viewpoint, people must follow to intake of traditional home
food
 and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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opt towards the enhancing trend of
junk
meals
 as they
are
Verb problem
have
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less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 amount of vitamins, minerals, and proteins which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 non-nutritional and
also
 deteriorate
the
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apply
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health in the long run.
Submitted by Nikita & Kash  on

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task response
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. It is important to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction. The essay would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear conclusion and does not effectively summarize the main points. Also, make sure to provide a clear introduction that previews the main points you will cover in the essay.
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