IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Fast food has become so popular worldwide that it is destroying the nutritional quality of food. What do you think because of this the traditional food and cooking method is being forgotten? Do you agree or disagree with the statement give reasons for your answer?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s
fast growing
Add a hyphen
fast-growing
show examples
 world, lifestyle is changing so quickly in every aspect of
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 life that it affects negatively in degrading
the
Change the word
their
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 health
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. People have chosen to move towards
junk
Use synonyms
 foods which became so famous among them that it is diminishing the healthy and nutritious
meals
Use synonyms
. As per my viewpoint, I do analyse both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of
this
Linking Words
 alarming trend and will come to a logical point in the latter view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society are enhancing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 intake of
junk
Use synonyms
 foods these days
due to
Linking Words
 hectic
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or business
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
 to focus more on their careers.
Similarly
Linking Words
, these days both the person in the family, work and they
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that cooking
meals
Use synonyms
 at home is
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
 waste of time and they can contribute the same time period for developing innumerable skills to achieve more milestones in their careers.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it,
food
Use synonyms
 chain companies
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
imposed
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 proportion of funds in making attractive advertisements to bring more customers to consume
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
, pizza, pasta and so on, but it could lead them to highly contagious diseases
such
Linking Words
 as tuberculosis, diabetes,
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
show examples
 problems in the long run.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the most popular
franchise
Fix the agreement mistake
franchises
show examples
 “
McDonalds
Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
show examples
” which is a pioneer in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 more than 1000 outlets in 150 countries across the globe
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been found under screening
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the usage of hazardous additives to taste
food
Use synonyms
 in a better way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, persons
cannot
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 able to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 a healthy lifestyle of family
due to
Linking Words
 more consumption of fast foods which
lacks in
Verb problem
are
show examples
 full of vitamins and proteins.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it leads them to various kinds of deficiencies in the physical body which can cause many chronic diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, low blood pressure, fast
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 and vice versa. To cite an example, in North
America
Add a comma
America,
show examples
 more than 80% of citizens choose to grab non-traditional
meals
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
out of which 70%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 are suffering from
such
Linking Words
 chronic diseases.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
as per
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my viewpoint, people must follow to intake of traditional home
food
Use synonyms
 and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
opt towards the enhancing trend of
junk
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 as they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 amount of vitamins, minerals, and proteins which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 non-nutritional and
also
Linking Words
 deteriorate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health in the long run.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. It is important to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction. The essay would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear conclusion and does not effectively summarize the main points. Also, make sure to provide a clear introduction that previews the main points you will cover in the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: