write letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staffs. In your letter, you should tell: what you heard about the inconvenience from the staffs how you felt about it what suggestion you can give

#manager #request #cafeteria #staffs #inconvenience #suggestion

Dear Mr Chen, I am writing to you in connection with the request of the employees to set up a cafeteria in the office. Since our site is far from the main road, it is hard for

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staff to grab snacks

Change preposition

during

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breaktime

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break time

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This

difficult situation has been endorsed to the Human Resources through a petition letter done by the majority of the workforce. I must agree with the feeling as it is implemented that workers have to maintain their physical and mental ability in the workplace.

Moreover

, it will

also

be an income generation for the organization as food will be purchased within the company setting . It is a win-win situation between the employer and employees. If you will be granting the request, I would like to recommend an in-charge cook for the canteen.

Also

the

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Human Resources will propose a memorandum of agreement to employees regarding the purchasing of food through the company. Thank you for your kind consideration. Yours sincerely, Sheryl Master

Submitted by Nikita & Kash on Sun Aug 02 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

167 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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write letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staffs. In your letter, you should tell: what you heard about the inconvenience from the staffs how you felt about it what suggestion you can give

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speake a forigen language can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Cyclists and car drivers the same road cause some problems. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Should young children be encouraged to follow strict rules based on their cultural traditions or allowed to behave freely? Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?