IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people thik that getting a degree from univeristy is the best way to guarantee the job, other believe that it would be better to gain experience first. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #thik #univeristy #guarantee #job #gain #first
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is important to consider whether a working
experience
Use synonyms
 or higher
qualification
Use synonyms
 is more significant to get a better
job
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is
sometime
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 considered that having a graduate degree may make a person more employable than
one
Use synonyms
 who with years of
experience
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I consider that the educational
qualification
Use synonyms
 is far more important. On the
one
Use synonyms
 side, those who believe that
job
Use synonyms
 related skills have
significant role
Suggestion
a significant role
, which make him or her suitable for the particular position.
This
Linking Words
 is because every
job
Use synonyms
 has required certain kinds of talents and abilities to
out shine
shine brighter than
outshine
 in their field that often develop through the years of
experience
Use synonyms
. Some companies select candidates who have technical
profiency
the quality of having great facility and competence
proficiency
 in the specific field,
for instance
Linking Words
, when recruiting nurses to cardiac ICU, applicants with cardiac
icu
Suggestion
ICU
experience
Use synonyms
 may be selected than
one
Use synonyms
 who has specialized degree in cardiac nursing. These staff may produce a huge profit to the hospital management.
However
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 the other hand, especially these days, more and more employers look
job
Use synonyms
 seekers with higher
qualification
Use synonyms
 since their educational
background prepare
Suggestion
background to prepare
 them to take challenges in the
job
Use synonyms
 sectors. Up- to- date knowledge and education are crucial to meet the current work place demands than before. As industrial technologies and methods have been evolving, so workers need to be prepared to adopt
such
Linking Words
 changes that can be only possible with educated employees. In conclusion, even though some consider hands on
experience
Use synonyms
 is a must to get higher position in a company, others think that educational
qualification
Use synonyms
 has the prime role when it comes to choosing the best person to a position.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive theoretical foundation
  • critical thinking skills
  • job market
  • networking opportunities
  • internships
  • theoretical knowledge
  • practical experience
  • workplace dynamics
  • hands-on skills
  • work environment
  • formal qualifications
  • real-world settings
  • adapt to
  • employers
  • candidates
  • practical skills
  • formal degrees
  • work experience
  • industries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: