Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to preoccupy themselves. Discuss both these views and and give your opinion.

In recent years, the after school activities for
children
Suggestion
children's
child's
child
engagement has increased
significanlty
in a statistically significant way
significantly
. While some people
believes
Suggestion
believe
that parents should motivate their offsprings to participate in
group
activities in their leisure
time
, I would argue to give freedom to the
child
in deciding how they want to spend their
vacant
Suggestion
vacation
vacations
time
according to their interest. Those who believe in
group
engagements would argue that it is crucial to make connections.
This
is because, a
group
is comprised of children with various interests, and one can learn a lot from them.
For instance
, if a
child
is learning any instrument in a music class, chances of getting a motivation from fellow learners are more.
In contrast
, children often feel boredom following the same schedule alone, and chances of
quiting
put an end to a state or an activity
quitting
cutting
citing
the routine are quite high. To add, learning in a
group
add many traits in a
child
, like how to behave in a team, and makes them more disciplined.
Nevertheless
, it is vital to understand the benefits of keeping the decision to kid itself, the most vital of which is being more confident. The reason
to
Suggestion
for
of
it is, if a
child
is spending
time
in the
activity
and
choosed
pick out, select, or choose from a number of alternatives
choose
closed
it without other’s
intervension
the act of intervening (as to mediate a dispute, etc.)
intervention
interventions
, chances of becoming a good decision maker, and getting success are more.
For instance
, some of them likes to read books and
this
activity
does not need a
group
engagement. To
contrary
Suggestion
the contrary
, if a
child
is forced to attend a
group
activity
against their will, chances of failure are generally more as mostly parents indulge their
child
according to their interests and not according to
child’s skills
Suggestion
the child’s skills
. In conclusion,
although
learning in a
group
activity
possesses a plethora of benefits for a
child
, like learning discipline and making new connections, I believe the onus is on parents to give them the flexibility to take decisions on how to spend their
time
, as it will make them more confident and mature.
Submitted by Sal on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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